Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
carlycrf 8
did you swallow?
iHaveADream_ 0
hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (258)
mintcar 10
"Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. " Yep...not an FML.
Zmeilerr 22
I totally agree.
WishResign 0
unintentionally self-inflicted Bukkake is indeed an fml... & definitely a 'buzz' kill
yourdumbbb 0
just cause you like **** all over your face after giving 40 guys hand jobs, doesn't mean one guy getting a hj likes it.
mintcar 10
56, you're a complete idiot.
joooeee 3
Once I actually figured out what 56 was trying to say, it was actually kinda funny, but very uncalled for.
joooeee 3
82 you're actually right. I usually hate people like that, and don't normally tell the world my feelings. Damn, I'm doing it again.
tygerarmy 35
"Today my girlfriend gave me a hand job.." can be a an fml, for reasons like this or.. .. she stopped before I climaxed .. then she cut it off .. and I couldn't get hard .. I moaned her sisters name .. her dad walked in etc, just 'cause you don't mind something doesn't mean everyone likes it.
Jizwold 0
pendatik you've become a total dick face please go back to being funny
joooeee 3
Pendatik was right in this argument. If I was him, I would have probably said the same thing.
monzach 5
cat fight!!!!!
radicalfad 0
and you're fugly
ZOMBlE 0
Uh. which ended up with his own **** on his face. that's a fml.
countrygirl1993 0
so true haha
SaniK 17
Hand jobs suck
fayul 0
wow...that's original for sure
mtr_fml 0
hahahah who ever said did you swallow is my hero ...soooo funny
leishababyx 0
agreed !
mygrandmaisyoung 0
+50
Zombies_Rule 0
lol win
stevenJB 25
NO NO No!! 500*
Jimboom 12
Lol. At least it wasn't a multikill. ;-)
lilai1396 0
Lol, nice:) Also, FMA/FMAB fan huh? Gotta love Al:)
Sannekee 18
I'm sorry chap, but I have to agree with your girlfriend!
SleptWithYoMomma 0
did she lick it of or did you. maybe it was turn on for. she just wanted you to experience what she's gone through her whole life
carnage1106 0
really her whole life, must of been one hell of a nap time
Deadshot108 0
nice picture.
urdirtyolduncle 15
haha sweet revenge
sanflayben 3
pow right in the kisser
christhomas43 0
haha same thing happened to me exept when she pointed it at me I pointed back at the right moment and got her all over her face haha