Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML
Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bobbycorwen 5
That's great news for in the long run! For now, no. I am sorry she's a cheating *****. :(
kjcamaro3 5
No diaper changing for you...more good news!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (230)
kjcamaro3 5
No diaper changing for you...more good news!!!
IphonFML 6
i'll be seeing this in maury soon :)
ColdplaySucks 18
If you aren't the father, I think that outweighs the bad news for you at least.
shovels 0
A real man would consider the good news and bad news, in this case, switched.
bobbycorwen 5
Not everyone finds pregnancy good news.
ColdplaySucks 18
Especially before marriage...
BarDownDaily 12
Key word: Probably.
SmallBean 12
key word: pregnant
iliketurdles 7
KeyWord: ... Coldplay Sucks? Wait what? GTFO. Just GTFO.
RussianFox 13
At least now he can dump that lying bitch. Sorry OP atleast you dodged a bullet and didn't marry her.
Jiplo 18
i agree. and even more good news, she has to suffer for cheating! Go karma!
bobbycorwen 5
That's great news for in the long run! For now, no. I am sorry she's a cheating *****. :(
Furrywhiplash 14
Agreed. Plus it is better that OP found out now, rather than after they get married and he raises a kid that he only thinks is his
22jrdn55 15
This is a Maury's show or Jerry Springer kind of thing. OP- if you ever go on either shows, please say you're the guy from FML. FYL.
stevenJB 25
OMFG IT'S A CHOCOBO!!! :D
omfg_creepers 8
Give her some more bad news, she's a *****.
StoryOfTheYear 15
The Kardashians donated 20 bucks worth of games to a hospital. Brilliant! Where may I get more of this "mediocre news"?
StoryOfTheYear 15
Naww, that's bull-crap. He can't truly be homeless if he has a Ferrari to sleep in. *waits with troll net*
tripleshame 3
Hit him with a stick, he's not so tough. The mediocre news is in his cardboard treasure chest.
freakinglaugher 10
Don't hit a 'so to be' dad with a stick. That's right, Fiddo is the father. He's the only rich homeless man iv ever loved.
dontbeabeach 0
Talk about ****** there's a girl in are school that got pregnant
lolmigosh 15
So she's carrying an "unwanted miracle?"
Amrel 10
Wrong comment thread?
Amrel 10
Yea i agree with you
bamagrl410 31
Isn't it sad how most people treat pregnancy like a terrible thing these days? Yay for traditional values.
StoryOfTheYear 15
^Uh hello? She has more than likely slept with another man and gotten pregnant while in a relationship already. I don't think anybody here means to say pregnancy in general is bad.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
That's because most people can't afford to have children, and end up screwing themselves over and their newborn child. Sign of the times.
BeefyQueef 5
Like I always say, invest in tomorrow by aborting that baby today :)
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Never joke about abortion. NEVER!
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
No.. Just no. Any jokes about abortion are not right.
SilentNicholas 0
He's not joking about abortion. He's saying she should get one if she can't afford to keep the baby
WCARlover 35
Bad news: she's a cheating *****, good news: you won't have to deal with her anymore:)
CheckItOutItsYou 7
Nice rhyme
lakaiskate 12
Is it just me or are op's priorities backwards. Good news she's pregnant, bad news you may not be the father..
CheckItOutItsYou 7
No it's the girlfriend that doesn't have her priorities straight. OP is just repeating what she said
StoryOfTheYear 15
She doesn't have her priorities straight? What gives you that idea?
Dusty_Busters 15
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Nice
ladiesman219 4
give her bad news, it's over
bobbycorwen 5
That is great news. Technically.
pilotdude8147 3
#9 that's good news for op!
Right_Click 12
No sleepless nights and temper tantrums for you!! Muahaha. Wait, that's a good thing. Relax, OP. Let the strumpet deal with it.
ZDK5498 6
your girlfriend is a bitch and I would not care if she was good in bed or hot I would leave her ass!
drawmesunshine 17
Phew, that was a close one, OP. Sorry your girlfriend is a tramp, though.
GoW_Chick 15
Simple solution: Go on Maury and take a paternity test, you'll find out who the baby daddy is and you'll entertain trailer parks everywhere.
superpoptart 24
"He IS the father!!"
22jrdn55 15
"when it comes to one month old Jumbo, OP, you are NOT the father." *happy tears*
Poser1337 5
Be happy. At least she knows for sure you're not the father.
bobbycorwen 5
She doesn't. OP said probably.
Poser1337 5
Oh darn. I apologize. My mistake. :/ I'm guessing I'll be flooded with thumbs-downs now? Oh well, not like it matters.
bobbycorwen 5
I gave you a thumbs up for being a good sport.
Poser1337 5
Oh, thanks! ^.^
The_Hitdude 12
What?