Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Private stuff
Today, I was on the phone to my boss and I mentioned about finding what he needed in the search history. Later, my dad asked what a search history is. When I explained, he went red and asked me if I could maybe delete his without reading it. Jesus Christ, Dad, use private browsing. FML
Today, my dad asked my help with a computer problem. Whenever he logged on Facebook, every single advertisement appeared to be hardcore porn. I had to awkwardly explain that these ads are based on his browsing habits. FML
Red Right Hand
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Thanks dad
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Scarred a generation
Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML
Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML
Top comments
dave04045 1
She caught him watching Fox News...
Miss_Michaela 10
What she doesn't realise is that your Dad was actually playing poker, and the 'vile smut' were pop-ups.
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Comments (113)
Jimster1712 0
sorry but whats vile smut?
ProhibitionRose 14
****
denbeste 3
Smurfs. ^ is wrong.
imacreeper 3
if you wouldn't do it when somebody's watching, then don't do it at all.
WordSmyth 2
She's a pornstar, my favorite in fact.
princessRiRi97 0
if you look it up nothing but vile smut on bing you find lesbian ****...OH DAD!
Xathanos 16
Jeez **** is no problem really, think about it's not as bad as screwing another woman. **** is just movies for adults and nothing more.(and yes women watch **** too, if you say they don't you're just in denial)
BelleElle_fml 5
Looking up "vile smut"? What? Haven't your parents ever watched **** together?
haileemarie7 6
42-I'm going to have to disagree. While yes, it's not as bad as screwing another woman, it's still bad. Mist women don't enjoy men fantasizing about other women. It makes them feel insecure, and not good enough. Weather or not it's affecting your intimacy, it really is a slap in the face knowing your husband/boyfriend is dreaming about being intimate with someone other then yourself.
sweetcande999 0
i agree completely :)
yarm 0
so guys need to change to accommodate your unreasonable insecurities? intimacy is shared with a real live human being. **** is a way for men (and many women) to release their innate urges. yes, some people develop an unhealthy addiction to it, but that's definitely not the majority.
cradle6 13
49-Thats a very close minded way of seeing it. The male mind is not monogamous. There is a strong drive to spread the seed. Thats why humans are a successful species. Even so, we remain in monogamy for our partner. And if you considering **** cheating because men "fantasize about other women," then you must consider the majority of chick flicks, movies/books like twilight, and attractive celebrities in the media also cheating. How is a woman drooling over Taylor Lautner somehow better than a male watching ****? It's extremely hypocritical and a double standard. You could make your boyfriend/husband feel insecure. Therefore, by your standards 49, a couple that is together should never ever look at someone of the opposite sex in any circumstance because they could make their partner jealous. Maybe they should blind themselves, just to be safe.
haileemarie7 6
54- I don't appreciate words being put into my mouth. Never once did I say it was wrong to look at pornography. I was just stating how I (and quiet a few other women I've met) feel about the subject. Also, I've never picked up a romance novel nor anything twilight related. So your argument fails. Everyone is entitled to there own opinion, and I was simply sharing mine. It's just like your spouse smoking, they're both bad habits and some people don't like them others don't mind. Also, you don't know me or anything about my past. So don't call my insecurities "irrational".
deathtrap 0
only if you are very insecure. fantasizing is not a crime or cheating. it's healthy for a relationship. now if your man is fantasizing about ur bff then that's wrong lol
haileemarie7 6
Also, looking at a completely clothed attractive woman is complete different then looking at a naked attractive woman going to town on herself. Also, it doesn't make sense that JUST looking at **** takes care of urges. Because last time I checked that's what masturbating was for. Also, last time I checked, you don't NEED to look at another human being having sex with someone else to **********. I'm not skipping to the steamy parts of romance novels to ********** to. I don't understand why a man has to look at **** to **********.
deathtrap 0
many, many couples use **** as a tool to teach each other what they like or need. and they are mature enough to realize that **** is not real sex. it's merely entertainment. try it sometime
marchelle001 0
#49 - Please Shut Up Lmao.
haileemarie7 6
61- I understand having fantasy is good, but not fantasizing about other women. I've spent mass amounts of time and money buying costumes, and toys, and swings, and books, and whatever else my husband wants to keep things interesting. I've worked my ass off for years making sure he's satisfied. Believe me, there are other ways to find out what he likes.
Jojo08_fml 0
your really pretty (:
Jojo08_fml 0
#46
whatwhyhoo 10
#60 must be a girl which is why she doesn't understand.
AlterrOnmi 0
I'm a chick and understand..Me and my husband watch **** to spice things up and cuz we're both pretty competitive and always wanna out do each other by doing it better than the **** stars.
vita987 0
well everyone's minds wonders, the hot checkout person, the person at the bar, were just human! plus u can't get herpes from **** :)
godmax1 3
haileemarie7, In my own personal experience I have found it alot easy to ********** while watching **** then just sitting in a room staring at a wall. Not only that but not watching **** just seems weird.
kofinater 3
Google chrome:incognito mode, does the trick for me as far as **** is concerned. Any private browsing is the way to go on a shared computer.
MissHandberg 6
Well duuh... When you click on the picture it says "Title: Miss"...............-.-'
niralz16 0
love how this argument started on someone asking what "vile smut" is
Jonkbaby 23
you guys should check out a secular scientific site called yourbrainonporn.com
chrisdrewislife3 0
so ur pretty much saying u wanna be a virgin ur whole life? Kay, cool.
kellsietrickle 0
...?
LilTiki559 13
look at his Name, its "Dad is Goat Boy". I'm guessing its goat ****??
lllaalaa 0
agreed.
deathkid1 0
prons
dreamweaver1227 11
SO MUCH TRUTH IN THAT STATEMENT #49.
RiddleMePancake 12
#17 sooo i cant crap now...
Miss_Michaela 10
What she doesn't realise is that your Dad was actually playing poker, and the 'vile smut' were pop-ups.
wakeNmakePIZZA 0
nice pic
AnotherRandomPer 0
LOL wrong fml:)
Miss_Michaela 10
105- What are you on about?
NomOnShroomz 14
This is something every man needs to know, tell him OP or you will rot in hell.
Staige40 0
what's op mean
Darcon 8
ovulating penis
AceHeartThinksTh 0
Octopus ****.
jamie72596 9
OP means original poster :)
FunnyGuy5051 7
orange people
RedstoneEditor 3
Some Mexicans :)
dave04045 1
She caught him watching Fox News...
muzzz 0
bahaaha!
kirsty777 3
WIN!!
SoccerForTheWin 5
Haha so funny..no We gotta pay the debt off that Obama has racked up and fox news has sense and I think is right
dtbomb 3
Hope you don't find two girls one cup in his history.
boatramp 1
that's just nasty
regsworld11 2
Almost every man has looked up ****, it doesn't make him any less of a man.
36591951 9
shouldn't still be going on when your married with kids though
MizzErikaHart 8
oh really?? wait til u get married n have kids. and if ur a girl then lighten up when u do get married cuz I'm 99.9% positive ur man will still look at ****
regsworld11 2
I agree MizzErika! Mostly every man does it, nothing wrong with it in my eyes, unless they pursue something they are not supposed to.
fatalkiss 0
Oh, poo. Your dad's a man, men look at ****. Not like you caught him watching it.
jorrrk 0
i agree with you
jennifer93 0
I'm going to type "nothing but vile smut" into google right now and see what it brings up
KiddNYC1O 22
Did rallets come up?
jonnythedevil 4
what came up??
kingtz 6
She probably found justin beiber, which it's why she still hasn't answered.
LilTiki559 13
The Suspense! Dx
Pigpen181 3
Your Mom, needs to come to the realization that the "FML web site" is rated PG14 ( and if it bothers her too much...... .....post something!)
jennifer93 0
the mom wasn't talking about FML, she was talking about ****...
leprechaun23 15
*face palm*
keitorinm 0
that's awkward