Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
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Top comments
Devindelon 17
So, I'm guessing there was no need for oil.
icedexplosion 19
Was it sexy?
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Comments (125)
Polynomial 28
Aside from the sneeze, that sounds perfect :-)
Annihilator257 15
Hahahahaha that's freaking hilarious
brain_damage2013 7
Sounds like a yellow river
nitrog100 21
You lucky duck...
baahs101 4
I hope you just went with it. just enjoy the surprises that happen maybe after the initial shock you will find it was pretty fun even if you only do it once.
bustyou 15
Nothing wrong with water sports
rogerover 19
Kinky! Did you like it?
pepsiman404 12
sounds great. if you're into that. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
jordanashley211 20
Ewwwwww.
japtap81 16
Kegal exercises don't really work with accidents like this. It's like when u sneeze and snot comes out. It's embarassing to females especially, so she's probably crying about it and thinking UR going to leave her and tell everyone about it. Yes it sucks but Atleast it wasn't poop.