Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, while having a break up fight with my fiancée, she informed me that the paternity of our unborn child was in question because one of the other guys couldn't remember if he got off or not. FML
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Top comments
aggiegirl95 7
Guess its time to call Maury.
petethelovehorn 19
You're better off without her, OP!
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Comments (155)
steam_engenius 21
You sure you two were official? Sounds like maybe you never had the talk...
jrdnpls 1
maybe she's just a dumb blonde and meant pregnancy test
straightventing 11
Your girlfriend must be my ex wife! F Yolife!
mrsmikelowrey 15
OP: She means pregnancy test. You can't run a paternity test WITHOUT THE CHILD. You need the child to have been born before you can run the test. She would also need your blood and the blood of the other possible father. So, relax. Calm down. Breathe. She got her words mixed up.
GrapeJuice67 17
Surprisingly, you do not....necessarily, (you can do a paternity test while pregnant, but I'm pretty sure you have to be far along) but I think you're right. You don't usually go out and grab a paternity test, considering the the cheapest they can be is about 400$
braysdada24 4
Well if the kid is yours then be the best father you can be in life, but no longer being with her anymore
Tonymac617 16
Is she blond by any chance?
Sora_McKain 36
I resemble that remark.
ericp96 10
Break up with her Even if you are the father Get custody of the child And kick her thot ass to the curb
JebMcdeber 11
Yeah, guessing she misspoke or there was some auto-correct there. We need a follow-up!
BoringGirl94 11
Maybe she meant pregnancy test?
exos_blackpearl 10
I'd hope the child wasnt mine so I can dump her, and let the other man do his job.