Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, while having a break up fight with my fiancée, she informed me that the paternity of our unborn child was in question because one of the other guys couldn't remember if he got off or not. FML
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Top comments
aggiegirl95 7
Guess its time to call Maury.
petethelovehorn 19
You're better off without her, OP!
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Comments (155)
Sudoc 29
Make sure she wasn't kidding around with you before you panic!
Ultimate_Batman 28
You obviously weren't there enough to make sure she didn't cheat. YDI
Reihna_fml 14
Is it possible she meant to say pregnancy test instead of paternity test? I mean, I understand your shock and disappointment, but at least ask her to clarify before you make any decisions.
PhoenixChick 26
Put me down for thinking this only makes sense if she meant pregnancy. You would normally make sure you're pregnant before worrying about paternity. You need the fathers DNA for paternity. Also, the earliest you can do pre-natal paternity testing is 8 weeks in.
StarkWolf_fml 23
dump her ***** ass if it's not yours
RayneSmytson 24
Are you sure she didn't stuff up her words and mean to say 'pregnancy test'? As it would still be a while before you could get a paternity test done...
ofzefox 7
Maybe she meant Pregnancy test?!?
rebelvamp420 14
Maybe she meant a pregnancy test....
SmittyJA24 26
She's so stupid... (How stupid is she?) ... she needs a doctor to run a test to see if she's the mom.
TechnicPyro 4
You do know what a paternity test is, right?
katina1236 20
By the way she said it matter of factly makes me feel like she's joking. If not run far and fast OP if she's cheating at all she's not worth your time. That paternity results part would be a huge red flag