Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke up to me crying. He asked what was wrong, but before I could answer, he'd already rolled over and started snoring louder than ever, making the migraine I was crying about even worse. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
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Top comments
chanellgymnast 17
Just because you had a migraine she accused you of all of those terms? Good gravy.
GemmaStyles 14
If anything, she's the selfish one.
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Comments (73)
spunkylady 24
Don't know of thumbs up or thumbs down for you lol. Most frustrating thing EVER for a guy to do.. But I suppose she'd deserve it anyways!
jengers115 10
That'll teach you to be in pain from a migraine. Just joking...she sounds like a total bitch.
Huddisher 10
Sex is a natural pain killer.
lucik4690 9
Having an ****** will release chemicals in your body that act as a pain killer which apparently are stronger than morphine.
xkncas 8
Not true. I get migraines, and the increased vasoconstriction and work makes them HELLACIOUS! Orgasming also only makes it so painful that it'll bring tears to your eyes. So--you have no idea what you're talking about.
worldclassrager 41
Migraines are horrible...but since she knew about it....to me she is the one that is inconsiderate,,,
jmcr 27
Ouch OP you need to get a new gf one who wont bitch you out when youre in too much pain to have sex its not cool for anyone to make someone else feel bad about not wanting to have sex
oscarsama 2
Sex is one if the few things that make my migraine go away... inconsiderate guy...
xkncas 8
Dump her and start dating her best friend. Have a kid, even. That'll piss her off...I mean "show her".
Doug6669 5
Oh, but when men want sex the "I have a migraine" excuse is perfectly acceptable?
TVKill3r 15
My thoughts exactly
simsgirlgem 25
Dump her with the exception of the gay thing I believe she described herself when she wanted sex despite you had a migraine