Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke up to me crying. He asked what was wrong, but before I could answer, he'd already rolled over and started snoring louder than ever, making the migraine I was crying about even worse. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
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Top comments
chanellgymnast 17
Just because you had a migraine she accused you of all of those terms? Good gravy.
GemmaStyles 14
If anything, she's the selfish one.
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Comments (73)
DarthVader77 9
You could not get it up? Sex cured me of all sorts of illnesses. As for the gay part it is way too much, but are you really attracted to her? It seems that she is more into you than you into her
CharresBarkrey 16
Do you know what a migraine is? And how debilitating they are?
hienzburgess 9
you should've given her a migraine
DJ_Lyons 15
She sounds like a keeper...
olpally 33
Wow, where do I begin with this one? She's the selfish idiot and being a twat waffle about this. Probably gave you more of a migraine trying to keep her off you. Geeze. Migraines suck.
wooddelilah 5
Get rid of her! From a chickadee.
TogeBara 12
1) Your gf is a jerk for yelling at you while you had a migrain. 2) Even more so for calling you those nasty things. 3) Sex releases endorphines which will lessen the pain of headaches/migrains. Both for men and women. 4) The secretly gay thing stems from somewhere. She has either had someone do that to her (turn out to be secretly gay that is) OR she has issues with herself and you are pushing that button by turning her down.
TogeBara 12
why my comment got downvoted I have no clue, it is logical and realistically plausible....
fightingfu 5
Obviously PMSing
vanessa09865 23
I know migraines are worse than headaches but having sex lessens the pain.
daddywarcrimes0 4
You are gay
natheitz 23
Migraines suck. At the risk of annoying some people, seriously, try taking magnesium and riboflavin supplements. It has reduced the number of migraine I get so much. It's worth a try for you.