Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke up to me crying. He asked what was wrong, but before I could answer, he'd already rolled over and started snoring louder than ever, making the migraine I was crying about even worse. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
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Top comments
chanellgymnast 17
Just because you had a migraine she accused you of all of those terms? Good gravy.
GemmaStyles 14
If anything, she's the selfish one.
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Comments (73)
radianceepica 9
You do realize that an ****** will help relive the pain of a headache right? 1. It releases endorphins that block pain. 2. It changes the blood flow in the brain. Then yet, you could be one of the few unlucky people that orgasms cause headaches or makes headaches worse for.
skyturtle 9
A migraine isn't a normal headache. Whenever I get one, any kind of light, noise, and movement will make it worse and make me nauseous.
radianceepica 9
There are several different types of migraines, so it all depends on the type of migraine you have. Search Ebscohost for the research article ****** and Migraine by Randolph W. Evans MD & James R. Couch, MD, PhD. It explains there there are two types of migraines in regards to orgasms. For some orgasms can cause or worsen a migraine, and for others, orgasms can relieve or even eliminate the migraine. Those with aura are usually worsened. There are other research studies that say the same thing, but the on mentioned is the easiest to understand for those that have little knowledge of neuroscience. I'll keep searching and provide other links if anyone is interested.
theBadGuy37 9
Good job dick, you just validated the stupid headache excuse women have been using for centuries. On behalf of men everywhere, you deserve it.
Shepardspie71 8
Why start fooling around then? Take excederin and drive her through the mattress
alapickles 12
I apologise for my gender
pattayarick 8
I don't give a **** if you're on your deathbed. NEVER turn your woman down. Man up, bro.
Neesalun 20
Orgasms help migraine pain...
greggly123 6
I read somewhere that sex can cute headaches and minor pain because it releases dopamine, a natural pain killer!
K_kanaka 26
Well...that escalated quickly.
acrouch 9
Irrational hoe.
Reenie18 7
I like her lol