Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML
Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML
Today, my idiot son has been getting his ass kicked nearly every day since he spread a rumor that he’d been sleeping with the most popular girl in school. Not only is she the wrestling coach’s daughter, her brothers are all massive jocks. Even though he apologized the beatings keep coming. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
Today, I found out why my son has been working out and taking martial arts classes. It was so he could beat his stepbrother up and put him in the hospital, as revenge for stealing his secret cash supply, over £4000. I'm too old and too tired for this. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML
Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
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Top comments
arre2006 19
E-thugging backfired bigtime
chanellgymnast 17
Your username gives this FML justice.
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Comments (79)
arre2006 19
E-thugging backfired bigtime
golden_warrior 23
At least your son is not an idiot. Oh wait...
BntyHntrSeattle 30
It would seem not that the thug life chose him, but rather that the thug life caught him and ****** him straight across the face. Wish him well.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
I hope he reads this.
jonha21 11
Look what WorldstarHiphop does to these Kids these days
jonha21 11
Its Obvious he wont be ******* for a While haha more like people F him over hahaha #Castro
sig4life 18
Wow, at least you have this time to teach him not to be such a dumbass and a douchebag.
chanellgymnast 17
Your username gives this FML justice.
non_finisher 9
True that..!
Pussycat86 18
That nickname,,,, daddy??
hemz_fml 13
I hate my generation.
theworldismad 10
same. some people just make this generation look stupid, but not all of us are
Flowtastic 16
Which generation is that? The son could be from any generation... Internet baddies have no age limit.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I hate people who say "I hate my generation". It's ridiculous, every generation has their fair share of dumbass people. Be proud you aren't one of those types.
IworkAt711 14
I once came across a racist bigot old man on youtube that wouldn't stop making fun of me and calling me a ******. It can be any generation.
thejimler 9
#32 true there are idiots in every generation, but people can judge you based on your peers, and its annoying when you are looking for work and your generation has their ass hanging out of their pants and their dialogue consists of cussing and facebook catchphrases.
OverBlossomed 22
Ditto. I was once called a **** when I was sixteen just for...being sixteen. The assumption being I was doing poorly in school because I was too busy flirting and having sex (I was doing poorly in school, but that was due to problems and extreme stress at home). It sucks.
Judahsh 8
It's every generation. Ours is known for being stupid since only because we use the internet the most, and thus are overly broadcast. Stupid people are everywhere.
mpj13 8
Anyone's a bodybuilding fighter with a 12 inch dick online, but in reality they're just a pussy.
theworldismad 10
1. you're son is stupid 2. your name sums it all up
theworldismad 10
dang i realized my mistake so before grammar nazi's come to correct me: your*
feelingold 18
you're getting there. PS Nazis not Nazi's.
why57why 21
Kick him out and say don't come back until this fight is over
Ray_of_midnight 23
He's not a pussy, he's a moron whose mouth writes checks his ass can't cash.
SweetJTBR 22
Really now, there's nothing wrong with that man. And no, I'm not gay.