Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
******* Klingon ******, they'll get you in trouble.
ICastillo 25
Yeah man that's how you get the grammar nazis pissed.
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Comments (112)
winkydog4056 16
Perhaps your girlfriend WAS the Klingon ***** daddy cheated on mommy with.
smokerises420 1
So is this an FML because you were playing Klingon monopoly with your parents or because your dad experimented with men in jail, either way, I'm sorry op but your life sucks...
Liamj774 36
At least your GF isn't a Klingon ***** :)
lilhellian 27
If she was he would have gotten laid already.
majorjeneral 0
Makes me wonder if OP's drunk parents were arguing over an actual infidelity... Monopoly is the Devil's board game.
marxistbkly 3
There are ****** in Klingon monopoly? Is this new?
tylermt1999 17
If you can't find something wrong with your family, then there not normal. Everyone has embarrassing families.
laurenlovesjb 20
I would thumb this up, but I have to admit that your misuse of the word "there" really annoyed me... I'm sorry, but how hard is it to remember the different types of that word?
CharresBarkrey 16
60 - It's quite easy. I had it down by grade 7, if I remember correctly. It's laziness that causes people like this to not learn the correct forms. Sadly, it makes them look really, really lazy and uneducated. The your/you're one is even easier, too, because one of them is literally two words put together! It still amazes me that people can't get those correct.
bigbadtim 7
Was it one of the Duras Sisters?
livewire1701 8
I bet it was Be'Tor. She was the better looking of the two. (Yes I'm a nerd and proud of it)
P1Nk13 7
I always thought Lursa was prettier
perdix 31
Don't worry, you found a girl who will play Klingon Monopoly. She doesn't hae many options for male companionship. Most male nerds would be too scared to talk to her in the first place, while others would **** in their pants once they do. You mom should be pissed that he PAID a Klingon ***** while there are so many Klingon ***** that would bang him for free while she was in the pokey.
carminecris89 13
If I was looking to impress a girl, the last thing I would do Is bring out anything Klingon related. I don't know whether to say FYL, or YDI, because I have yet to see a game of monopoly that doesn't end with horrific fighting. Next time go with anything but monopoly.
poindexter25 5
I wonder if the game ever ended :o because my families monopoly games last for days