Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML
Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML
Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML
Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game, and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said, "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
******* Klingon ******, they'll get you in trouble.
ICastillo 25
Yeah man that's how you get the grammar nazis pissed.
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Comments (112)
avest23 3
Yes, that's what drove her away.
nickolascronk 3
Hahahaha.
noisebox 1
Did all offenders have have numerous tattoos and affiliations with bikers?
Aliserguy 2
first mistake Klingon monopoly
alfakennybody 10
Haha probably the best fml ever. I think
darlinjai 18
Nerd parents have the best imaginations...you should embrace your families oddity and your girlfriend should too!
SiHa00095 15
I don't think that was the thing that made her never want to come back.
Acywhy 10
The worst part is, this is an argument my dad has had before.... with my older sister.
miriamfrank 22
Honestly, as far as meeting your significant other's parents, that's not that bad.