Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
illmatic2 16
Obviously a MILF.
s0m3guy2010 21
I bet OP really wishes he had a moment with a Twix bar.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (189)
leonz93 3
dude... either you're blind or thick skinned for not realising the difference in skin texture and all when you touched her butt and kissed her neck. Seriously. YDI
pdp_fml 21
I agree with you. Mom must look pretty good for you to mistake her for her daughter.
False_Stupidity 42
Where does it say that the person he touched was his gf's mother? or that the mother was even there? .. The way I read it, he touched/kissed his gf and then heard someone say 'so this is what you do with my daughter' which could have been either parent looking on from in the house.
MyPerspective 4
Oh, come to think of it, 55, you are right! I did not see it from that perspectice and instead thought that OP might have mistaken his GF's daughter for her. Haha! Way to go!
chilldude69 8
Way to ruin the fantasy 55
tittymagic 0
55- Then it would be, "so this is what you do with my mom."
RedPillSucks 33
LOL if it was the dad.
Christianrules 1
Omg you are so right!
TheTwitchy 5
So I wasn't the only one who saw it that way.
MakenzieJH 0
Yes that makes sense now!!!!@55
Fahrenheit63 5
Did you show her what else you do with her daughter?
cuddlebunny3548 11
Lol good one
Sabraynay 10
Obviously your girlfriend's got a smokin' hot mom. Something to look forward to in the aging process!
kcraw1215 4
Or they are both ugly and just look the same. No need to assume she is hot
BikeAllDay818 6
She wanted that shit too. Tear it up OP!
zombicidal 11
the rippin and the tearin the rippin and the tearin
dsbs 9
You mean anal tearing?
Senior29 8
well wat was she expecting u 2 do? kiss her feet?
Pinkfoxxx 2
feet...win?
stratto 4
U can kiss my feet anyday ;)
rarememory 7
Stacey's mom has got it going on she's all I want and I've waited for so long... Song of the moment
Burr520 3
Ha always happens like that
leadman1989 16
Yeah the mom could be hot or the daughter could be unlucky. Just pointing that out. In any case the mom is DTF... I'm not gonna say go for it because that could be DRAMA but men DREAM of this type of situation think of all of us before you make that decision. :p
nocomment1 3
Man up and take one for the team ;)
stephan18 23
"Milf - So this is what you do with my daughter" "Me - Yea and this is what I'll be doing with you" *insert classic porno music* Better not wake up.
ColCyclone 17
If I wanted to see a bunch of made up things that never happened I'd watch the scifi channel
tiffanyroseallen 0
How do you not know the difference between your girlfriend and her mom? Especially when she her body was that exposed ! Unless you've never even seen your girlfriends ass.
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Wouldnt her moms ass be saggy?
perdix 31
Not necessarily. That's just a stereotype that women get saggy and fat as they age. A lot of them do, but some are diligent about keeping in shape and can stay hot for a surprisingly long time.
CrazyManNo9 29
My wife's ass is to die for, and our son is 30. And, no, you can't have it.
SpruceDread4578 13
^ too bad. :D
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Well my moms ass is saggy
perdix 31
Well, Madi, F your dad's Life, then. Or, maybe not, lots of married couples don't have sex very often, so saggy butts and fat bellies don't matter very much.
penguinazul 13
Along with what perdix said, a lot of married couples don't have sex very often, but then there's also that point where you've been with a person so long that looks just straight up don't matter anymore. You can't really expect your wife/husband of 50+ years to look exactly as they did when you first married them unless they're like Cher or Madonna and get plastic surgery on a regular basis.
wierd1919 0
Why the hell are you talking about your moms ass ._. WTF