Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower. Instead, I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
illmatic2 16
Obviously a MILF.
s0m3guy2010 21
I bet OP really wishes he had a moment with a Twix bar.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (189)
illmatic2 16
Obviously a MILF.
ElGranOrgo 0
How did you not tell the difference between the two!?
Blazingcrono 6
Obviously you didn't read #1.
btnhdude 0
If Heaven was a mile away...
fistnazal 10
Would I pack up my bags and leave this world behind?
fthislyfe 22
You should have said: no, there's more.
zombicidal 11
how many pornos have I seen with this same scenario
fanceh 10
Take a moment, chew it over with Twix.
awagh666 14
Now pornos should say 'based on a true life incident'
TheOptimist 0
Pretty sure the porno goes more like, "Today I found my 'girlfriend' sunbathing in her backyard. She wasn't wearing any clothes, so I started to have sex with her, until I relised it was my girlfriends mom. We kept going at it and my girlfriend joined 5 minutes later.
Christianrules 1
Reading this gave me a boner.
hatepineapple 14
The FML never states if it was the mother or the father. :)
shooterbuddy 8
You got style.
humorizer 14
I got the impression that the mother/father popped up behind them somewhere after he began molesting their daughter.
pantherpride98 10
Lovely info. How old r u?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Big deal, just say "Yes." and continue.
Suchagoonnn 4
Sounds like a porno
stephan18 23
You know she wanted some, but don't do it since it could cause one of those "Today, I found out about my mom and boyfriend" FMLs.
kbball95 7
Gross
transalex 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I bet she liked it. Try going for a threesome( yes i said it ).
piwikiwi93 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ya a threesome with her daughter your such a perv!!!
piwikiwi93 0
Let me correct that, a threesome with the mother and daughter and the mother would be going with the daughter now... YOUR SUCH A PERV
BrotherPhil 35
Bloke is in a bar, and an attractive woman of about 50 asks him if he fancies a sportsman's double. He figures her daughter must be in her 20s, so he agrees eagerly. They get to her place, and she goes to the foot of the stairs, and calls up "Hey Mum, are you awake?"
enonymous 9
Was this before or after she put her dentures back in? I prefer her dentures out. Nothing worse than a chick with a biting reflex
sean0120 3
that's disgusting...
leadman1989 16
Uh oh boner D: nope no boner... you killed it!!! >:(
TaylorRenee444 0
What the **** dude
airjordan6_fml 1
Ur a ******
LilTiki559 13
you guys take shit too seriously..
tsim_fml 0
Very understandable and calm mom. When you get your girl pregnant there shouldn't be any issues.
randomstudios 0
I would like this but there are 69 likes
Freeze_fml 17
That's not how you get on good terms with the parents.
slushpup9696 12
It's how you get on great terms on one and awful terms with the other. They should balance out, right?
leadman1989 16
Until the dad decides to clothes line him, for him being the reason his wife won't sleep with him. ;)
s0m3guy2010 21
I bet OP really wishes he had a moment with a Twix bar.
oilfan11 0
Omg thats a good one lol
slushpup9696 12
95, you should point it out in a comment for no reason at all. ...oh hey! A comment!
Rainbow_dumpster 28
You are a winner, #7. Really! xDDD;;
JEHughes 13
what did you say? and if she didn't say stop there would always be those awkward family get togethers you were invited too.
gunner2590 0
I love this post. I give her props for being a down to earth mom and not flipping out. Furthermore... She didn't flip out. Next time you fall asleep on their couch momma might be coming your way.
KaylaAlbright 0
Lmfao
Kielnmsoftly 26
And cumming.
ea49610 0
Fuuuuuuck
slushpup9696 12
Not yet; that happens later.
lovergirl67 0
Lmao
lovergirl67 0
Lmao
lovergirl67 0
Lmao
pantherpride98 10
Hell ya lmao! How old r u?
shootintacos 0
*interrupt* I'm 15!