Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, with whom I've been with for four years. I've been in Australia for the last two months and before I left, he bought a box of 12 condoms, saying we would use them when I got back. We went to the bedroom and I opened the box. There was one left. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
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Top comments
oooh_dear 0
you need sweet sweet revenge. how close are you to her best friend? ;] just a thought.
reset_button 0
Tell her you found holes in your 8 condoms, and are worried that the others had holes in them too
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Comments (97)
craigahh 0
Maybe she was trying to wrap a condom around her head, like that guy on youtube.
itsTiffany 0
That girl is a ****. Why cheat on you and then break up?
silentspilla 0
wana sex it up?
nomadxx7 0
I'd just give her back the condoms and say, "well I see you used them to cheat on me before you broke up so I suppose you probably need them. Have fun bitch...." Seriously people don't need to be mindfucked when they get broken up with. In a perfect world she could have told you why she was breaking up and left it at that. The mindfuck is supposed to be reserved for the person getting dumped. It's just cruel if she was "joking" about the condoms and breaking up with you. Hell with the break up your mind is working a mile a minute to figure it out and that's just icing on the cruelty cake.
Shimrra_fml 0
just call her up and ask if it was you who used them. when she asks why, just say that she sucked in bed and you are usually bored, so you dont rember if it was you who opened them
FMLover269 0
#22 would it have been better if she had cheated on him and then stayed with him? if she was gonna cheat she should have broken up with you so she could be a *****, rather than a cheating *****
braFTW 0
Why would she even do that (returning the box)? What a ****... You're probably better off. ;)
nomadxx7 0
@26 I think she did because it was a way of being cruel. Like you logically put it, "why would she return the box?" Probably to just **** with him a little more.
BigLord 0
#11 is so friggin right on this one.
mac_fml 0
she could have just taken some out for the future, i suppose. #1 and #8 are great ideas. if that doesnt work, go for her mom or sister
Sens_fan9 0
Rape her. joking. wow lol that sucks. better fish in the sea