Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
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Top comments
Bloo2555 22
Dodged a bullet there.
DraftHail614 17
My guess is she wanted any kind of reason she could find to break up with you. You're better off anyway.
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Comments (32)
acmariner99 25
Some women are complete psychos.
Rabite 28
At least they don't kill their partners after that :)
RichardPencil 32
That’s the easiest way to conceal your side piece. I’ll bet you have another girlfriend named “Work” on your phone.
thatslifeiguess7 16
Psycho but on Nike's and run forest run!
tonyfan00 38
To be fair, most people don't send "You wanna do it?" to their mom...
Mungolikecandy 19
Are you very close to your mom?
rubberduck_of_doom 31
I'd say good riddance! If she acts like this she's obviously a crazy bitch. I think you dodged a bullet there!! Let her go and run for the hills ;)
Rabite 28
The contact name really doesn't matter and I think the shortness of FML doesn't cover the real problem. People here tend to forget that the punch lines are meant to be funny and absurd but especially in relationship cases don't cover the problem at all.
AzrielB 8
I once caught my girlfriend texting "daddy", I'm glad she has such a good relationship with her father.
MitiMiki 16
Count your blessings and move on.
pjsr 33
Hmmm... does your “mom” (wink, wink) call you “Daddy”?