Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML
Today, on the bus, a man in his late 30s sat next to me. After a moment, he turned to me and said with a wink, "You must be ovulating, I can smell your vagina." FML
Stunned silence
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
True
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
Assumptions
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML
Don't get involved
Today, some kid on the bus kept pissing me off, making fart jokes and singing the Peppa Pig theme song on repeat. Angrily, I confronted him and asked him if he was 7. He retaliated with, "Yeah, 7 inches deep in your MOM!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Top comments
kjack49044 18
My question is, how does she know?
Retrokitty 9
Kids don't exactly knock.
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Comments (124)
kjack49044 18
My question is, how does she know?
Retrokitty 9
Kids don't exactly knock.
mohamed_H 21
Palirose 22
Some parents bathe with their young children. Or their child has seen the parent come out the shower etc. It's not uncommon for children to see their parent undressed etc.
A07 48
Only in 'STRAYLIA
bingbongbingbong 11
Your a ******* moron
DenBriZel 31
What I'm confused is why would they feel the need to say it doesn't have hair? Most 7 year Olds don't even know what a ****** is, let alone if it's supposed to have hair or not.
coolcocoxxx 12
Can we consider the possibility that she might have been a c-section baby? If she knows that babies are typically born through a ****** and she knows she was taken through the tummy, she might just say she was born from a ****** without hair.
ViRepz 28
Ye, I think your looking way to deep into this. Occam's razor
glitterkuro 18
My Mum used to work all day and the only time I'd really get to spend with her as a kid was when she was having a bath after work. I'd sit on the toilet and chat to her about my day. As a kid, I didn't find that weird at all. I think she found it more awkward than I did, but I was too little to really properly understand the embarrassment around nudity.
ryanntasia 13
Kids just say anything that comes to mind. My grandma took my cousin into the bathroom when he was younger, and when she was wiping he asked "are you wiping your hairs off?"
mohamed_H 21
B1ackthesun 31
#62 are you serious? I'd be worried if most 7 year olds didn't know what a ****** is! I'd be worried by a child of that age who didn't know about their genitals. It's just a part of their body, and I'd like to think by that age most parents would have explained ones genitals are private etc etc as part of stranger danger at least!
Juzhn 4
i'm 15 years old and nobody in my family (including my mother) taught me about sex and related stuff. I also never learnt about this in school. if i didn't have tv, internet and books i wouldn't know what a ****** is today. i did see my mother naked sometimes, when she entered the shower for example. but she never taught me about this stuff. except menstruation
Juzhn 4
oh btw my family still doesn't lets me play games/watch films or see things that are deemed pornographic... not exactly pornographic but i can't even watch something that has people kissing in it, or a girl in a bikini. i can, however, play/watch violent crap. double standards, i guess. and sex is so normal. it is part of life, and even plants reproduce. it shouldn't be an effin' taboo. nudity is also normal. its part of our bodies. i dunno why people are so ashamed about these things. :
Juzhn 4
sorry about the typos and double posts... i'm not fluent in english yet and i tried to type this as fast as possible :
ksks1234 33
62-- my son is 8 and knows how babies are born. I don't see the point of using "cute" terms and stories to something that is natural.
B1ackthesun 31
Juzhan I see your side and I can see how some parents raise their children like yours did you. But there are many parents today who are very open with their children about their bodies etc. I don't find it surprising a 7 year old in today's age would know the correct names for genitals at all. Once again I think it's vital to educate your child for stranger danger alone. I was born in 1984 and according to her I embarrassed my Mother terribly one day when I yelled out for the back room of her shop 'Mum!! why doesn't my Dolly have a ******?!' I was about 3 years old... it's now 2013 I think most parents are even more open now. I hope so any way...
thrifting 18
I went into a bathroom in the back of a business once when I was 7 and it had a calendar with nude women in it with full on bush fros and when I came out I yelled, "MOM I COULD SEE THEIR PERIODS!!" I was a sheltered child, my parents never taught me anything about sex.
B1ackthesun 31
#97 this is exactly why I think education from parents is vital, you had some idea; just not the full story. If parents don't do it the child often pieces it together from half truths from friends, media etc.
bizarre_ftw 22
Showers with mum. It's not unusual that she's seen her mum naked at that age, what I'm surprised at is that she already knows the word ****** and how she was born, and even then I expect what happened was that she asked "where do babies come from?" and somebody told her the anatomical truth. Combine knowledge of the existence of vaginas, and the morning shower, and you have this FML.
gpg5 19
When I was younger, my mom was open with me about it, while my dad, divorcees by the way, tried to "Protect" me and not give me any info about it or about the divorce, or his remarriage...
monstababe92 6
women take their children into the bathroom when they go. they cannot just leave them outside to get kidnapped.
Juzhn 4
my mother is actually religious. she goes to church sometimes but isn't a devoted christian or anything like that. she might actually be embarassed to talk about those things to me, and i don't know if i should approach her and tell her to explain. she sometimes talks about women stuff near me, but not with me, and never really bothers to explain what she is talking about. well, i do know already, though she could at least sit down with me and have a serious talk. i still don't understand a few things about my body, or reproduction. even with google, i don't find the answers i'm looking for. maybe she assumes i already know all the facts. she did tell me not to accept things from strangers when i was a kid.. she also tells me to be cautious whilst using the internet but that's all.
BrotherPhil 35
FYL, juzhn. No seeing anything sexy or the beauty of human body, but all the violence and killing you want. That pretty much sums up what's wrong with the world today. Mind you, it might be handy for dealing with that little overpopulation problem.
whiteboy896 9
And your 7 year old knows all of this how..?
Enslaved 38
I've seen lots of women that take their daughters with them while they get their nails done. Perhaps that visit to the waxing salon was done too!? They don't have to look but could still be in the same room while it's getting done.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Or sometimes mothers will shower with their daughters, especially since some children don't like taking baths.
Retrokitty 9
I'm 21 and still see my mom naked. Nudity isn't a huge deal in some families. Kids are also known for walking in when they aren't supposed to.
therouni 23
Yeah, I take showers and baths with my daughter. I remember taking them with my mother when I was little, too. That's perfectly normal.
minna97 14
My mom used to always take baths with my sisters and I. We all still walk around while we're getting dressed. Like #23 said, to some families nudity just doesn't really matter.
whiteboy896 9
I understand the taking baths and stuff, when i was a kid i took showers with my dad, just wondering why she knows the word ******.
doodlecloud 27
Ahaha, you're really complaining over the use of a single, correct word? Why on earth wouldn't she know it? If her parents were honest enough to explain how babies are made, do you really think they would have explained it all using nonsense words?
lukep135 6
I think what he's getting at is how does she grasp the entire concept? She's 7 yet she knows that you're supposed to have hair on your ******, and that her mother is different because she doesn't. I was finding out you had pubic hair around 3rd or 4th grade, and that people actually get rid of it a year or two later
whiteboy896 9
39- not complaining lol, just wondering why. I never found all of this stuff out until about 5th grade and even then i had never heard of the word ******.
doodlecloud 27
I actually tried to change the word 'complaining', thought it was a bit harsh, unfortunately was too late to edit. :P In any case, I think most families probably do use baby words. My mum taught me the correct words when I was little but we still used more childish terms most of the time.
glitterkuro 18
Kids are pretty good at picking up difference. I'd also like to point out that even if her Mum shaves or waxes most of the time, as I guess is implied by the FML, it doesn't mean she always does. Especially if she waxes, you have to let it grow out a bit between waxing so that the wax has something to grip onto. So the kid could have seen her Mum naked, noticed that there was hair and asked about it, for example "why do you sometimes have hair there and sometimes not". I'm pretty sure that as little kids don't have hair there yet, it would be fascinating to a child purely because it's unusual, and also if she's aware that there isn't always hair there. So it's really not that strange that the kid would be aware that her Mum's pubic region sometimes has hair but that her Mum removes it, and also that she'd find that odd.
RedPillSucks 33
Many families teach their kids the proper (non-baby talk) words for body parts. We did that with both our kids. The only time we had an issue was at the Rodin exhibit when my son shouted out what a huge penis the statue had.
ksks1234 33
82-- did you laugh and agree?
RedPillSucks 33
Now, but at the time we were mortified. Museum patrons can be a bit stuffy.
ActualAtheist 14
Because a seven year old has a sense of privacy, and obviously would NEVER walk in on her mother showering/bathing, right? Heavy sarcasm included, of course.
bjhhjh 20
And thats why taxis have a glass seperating the passengers from the driver
DKjazz 20
Glass doesn't protect you from creepy winks.
Kyuubi_Rose 11
In Australia they don't have glass in taxis, well at least in the area I'm in we don't
nanxi 30
"I'm not locked in here with you; you're locked in here with me... ;)"
KK3137 31
They don't have glass in most countries in Europe (at least on the mainland). I don't I've ever sat in a taxi with glass separating me and the driver anywhere but the US and the UK.
speckledots 29
I'm in Pennsylvania and there's no glass in my taxi's either. I think it just depends on the level of crime rate in the area your in.
bjhhjh 20
Let me just clairify. Most big cities have glasses between the driver and the passengers. In rural or suburban areas, if the crime rate is low, then there is no glass. It also depends on the taxi company.
linarahmany 6
Well, that's very unfirtunate. Sorry it happened.
iYoloSwag 9
Unfortunate*
duckymtz 12
unfortunate* Sorry, I had to
SkipBeatOtaku 33
#11 Oh, look! The joke just flew over your head! Quick, catch it before you make an ass of yourself! ...too late.
doodlecloud 27
It's neither a joke or a simple misspelling - it's a failed joke. It would be a joke if it said 'unFURtunate' but unfortunately it says 'unFIRtunate' instead...nothing funny about fir trees...
mallu86 9
You might be sorry but the cabbie isn't.
SkipBeatOtaku 33
She must have a very good memory.
BrookieAnn 19
Maybe you won't have to pay for your ride for making his day...and his night..
juan77football 6
Is debatable if it's worth it for just one ride but for like free taxi drives for months would be better
October3461 12
Hey she's helping you play the field! I'm kidding. carry pepper spray just in case.
Paradoxxxx 16
Haha Kids say the darndest things
iYoloSwag 9
You should be flattered OP
joopjoop 19
why?
sunnyray812 42
Because OP is TOTALLY into creepy men. Really how could someone be flattered?
riashah 14
The evil things innocent kids do.
RedPillSucks 33
What's evil about what OPs daughter said?