Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML
Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML
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Top comments
crabbyabby718 0
Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol
jbird1193 3
What a bozo.
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Comments (259)
jbird1193 3
What a bozo.
Keyman1212 14
Uh... I'm just going to put it out there, your daughter might just be super ****** up in the head.
hidinginthesky 0
I'd really like to hear how that happened now.....
LiveLaughFML 10
what a piece of sh*t! aha, now read OP's username(:
MareNostrum 0
Kinky. Very kinky.
SpicyDuck 22
Bozo the Clown everyone! Bravo.
SCREAM4meeee 0
your daughter knows how to party.
trgower13 0
Like a boss!
raaawwwrrZ 8
What an idiot. (to be read in hermione's voice)
airforce987 20
OP: *opens door, sees daughter's boyfriend hanging from ceiling* *stares* *walks away and closes door*
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
.........was he naked.........?
mr_torch91 1
I think the daughter deserves a hi five. Party win.
s2syou 7
wtfk, am I the only one who finds this scary? looking up the ceiling to see a clown...
FarSide 23
I'm guessing the power was out for a long time at your place.
fakeaccountX 6
Foreplay win.
acccccccc 1
Should tell him to stop clowning around in there.
FunwithBumperCar 0
at least she didnt draw a face on the tip of his penis
Kyzahhh 7
Ahh Clowning and roofing in one... Kids these days
hott15 0
your daughter must of slipped him some roofies in his drink.
tatababe 1
Reminds me of last Friday night
tacohead411 14
Heehee bozo…
jinki101 0
fml reference.
Bakachu 7
How epic.
Derek191919 0
unless if your scared of clowns
hidinginthesky 0
It would be more epic if he was naked :P
Yodaevil 4
Hope you left him hanging...
Jaxx66 21
Haha. It is epic! I want to be taped to the ceiling! Either he pissed her off, or she walke in on you and hubby and got ideas.
flockz 20
or the young boy had been on a clown chasing expedition when he had come across a baby shed in the open. because mother sheds are so protective and territorial, the mother guarded its baby. the mother shed grew a tongue and when the young boy approached the door the tongue lashed out and wipped the young boy to the roof of its mouth(ceiling of shed) and violated him and left him there unconcious. that is a way better explanation.
jseta94 0
Yes, yes it is
jazz23 2
I know right
ptrick718 1
Tl; dr
BbqKirbyAnn 0
I pictured him naked. Duct-tape Bikini...
klovemachine 24
Wow!
lakaiskate 12
I know the power of Duct - Tape
MagicallyFat 12
Respect.
Exeedingmango 0
I would kinda want to be ducttaped to the ceiling..
crabbyabby718 0
Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol
EnEl_Infierno 15
Lol I bet it was alcohol, but it was probably the dad that got blitzed and getting even with the bf for dating his daughter. f the bf life, he's family now redneck style.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Um... No. It was most likely the BF's friends that did that to him.
minisquid 9
No, it was OP's girlfriend reenacting that seen from "Bonded Clown 2: Red Nose" I'm not the only one that's seen that, right?
EnEl_Infierno 15
You all numb nuts don't get sarcastic humor, i meant it as, it would of been funny if the dad got wasted to the point where he can't recall what he did the night b4 and in his own was either initiating the bf into the family or just being spiteful cause the bf is dating his daughter.
Josh67 1
Did you help get him down?
danishbagel 3
No, OP lit the shed ablaze.
ii_tayman 0
No they left him there to die...
Clubkicker_fml 0
Love that lol sounds like a fun night.
monkeymegmo 4
Wow not gonna lie thats awesome
rinranthatway 4
They either got in a fight or your daughter and her boyfriend is into some kinky shit.
Legendslayer222 26
I don't know which would be a creepier reason.
vbmg152 19
WTF? What kind of party did they have? Sorry I missed it!
jizzwold 21
I would love to hear the explanation of how that went down.
nitewlf12 10
Oh my gosh. If that's really your car, you are so freakin lucky. I want it.
The_Great_Zucchi 15
Why is this an FML? I would say it's a FHL. I would have gotten my camera and laughed at him till i peed.