Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
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Top comments
somnula 9
she probably just meant "last time" and said yesterday. nbd
irishdubr 0
U shoulda said "ok" and started jerkin off. Then ask her what SHE did yesterday.
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Comments (90)
GrapefruitZoe 0
Yeah, I didn't know what to make of it but I didn't think anything too worrisome.
ithedarkknight 0
hmm if i were you i would of had like the craziest sex ever turn her completly out drain her... at least then you got some... then i would raise hell out of nowhere like wtf you mean yesterday this the first time we had sex in 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!! and start argueing and creating hell so at least when you break up...you at least got some??? that should hold you over for awhile?
dumass30 0
Ooooo cheater!
speak_a_da_truth 0
I made something for this web site. It's called a "Jump to conclusions mat!" It's a mat with different "conclusions" on it that you jump to. I jumped and landed on misspoken... damnit I was hoping for obvious cheater
nodbor 11
time flies when your ******* someone else
ithedarkknight 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is freakin gold bro pure gold someone need to make a shirt that says that id wear it!
XxXRawr 0
Omg Thats Fucken Funny xD But Srry For You xD I Hope You Broke Up With Her xD
blahdsflksfd 0
No sex before marriage.
aback 5
Good luck enforcing that, Sex Patrol. :D
BLNovelist 0
It's possible she's cheating, but it's also possible she just has her days screwed up. I've said something happened 'yesterday' that happened several days prior. :o And vice versa.
laurades8 0
Did you guys mess around yesterday but not have sex? She could be referring to anything. Even just the way you kissed her yesterday...
uchihasasuke 0
gtf up!