Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
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Top comments
fudgepirate 0
be happy that u have a big dick!! many guys would be jealous!
FistFightingJesu 0
say "bitch relax, we'll make it fit."
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Comments (349)
isnipin 0
been there done that she yelled " THAT THING IS SUPPOSED TO GO INSIDE ME?!?! it was funny as **** when she walked like a penguin for a week.
ensfast 0
bull shit
tntvballgurl1 0
doesn't sound like you all ate ready yet. give her some time
adavis87 0
been there except she said split me open
dakins 0
ok well believe it or not I've had this prob with exs @.@ and I sympathize! exsep with the girl being a virgin. BUT lucky for guys with the right words and the right foreplay u can get pretty much anything u want past us. and that includes a monster size penis @.@. try sticking with kissing, touching rubbing, licking, fingering, and other forms of foreplay. penetration DOES NOT have to be the first thing on ur list. there's alot of ways to turn her on and get you off without having to hurt. and it can hurt u need to understand that :p respect that and figure out ways around that. as weird as it sounds try stretching her out with ur fingers first. think dr.suess 1 finger 2 finger 3 fingers 4! if possible lol find the most comfortable position to penetrate use lots of foreplay and water-based lube (hey it works) and a condom (it's the barebacking badass that gets herpes) to it very slow and don't try trusting all the way in. short slow strokes aiming upwards towards her belly will rub against her g spot and turn her on then take her q, if she wants more..... :) in the end ur gf can take almost anything in the right mood it's ur job to get her in that mood -.- :D good luck :D
jadejazmyn 5
Lol lol lol lol. Lol.
jadejazmyn 5
Don't do a v
animegirl69 3
if she doesn't want it can i have it instead
thespecial702 3
setting for me but it doesn't fit and we gave tried 3 mother ****** times and it just won't fit! she told me to get a smaller dick
byrdie1006 2
at least you brag youre large...