Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
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Top comments
fudgepirate 0
be happy that u have a big dick!! many guys would be jealous!
FistFightingJesu 0
say "bitch relax, we'll make it fit."
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Comments (349)
danieljc2008 0
im glad y'all didnt do it... get married for god's sake.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I'm glad you're able to make up excuses as to why you're still a virgin, but I feel the need to welcome you to the 21st century where most people don't live by the "wait until marriage" rule.
Mikki4321 0
First of all, I would like to destroy the image of OP having a big dick; this girl sounds like she hasn't seen much (lest say no) dick in her life, and she obviously had never seen her bf's one before, so she was probably just surprised by the size. To a virgin who has never seen an erected penis before, they usually look pretty big. But for the rest, just take the advice already given; take it slow, there's more fun to sex than just 'doing it', make sure you are comfortable with eachother and make sure she is ready, because if you're dick really is too big, it CAN hurt really bad. I'm not saying it will, but if it does, it will probably be a little traumatic for her, causing her to (maybe) not have sex again for a while. Cheerio.
Mr25_fml 14
congrats on your penis size, she'll be ready next time
TheJimAubrey 0
Cool story bro!
jace_lycanly 0
duuude. lucky bastard
rocket123 0
good job
rasNgan127 0
isnt dat a gud thing...?
monkeyclb92 5
Yea you lucky your packing, honestly i wouldnt have not done it, but my first time i couldn't walk for a week so.....yea i get her problem lol every time i have sex with the person, i still cant walk well for a few days. idk if thats a good thing?
monkeyclb92 5
I like #254, :) you just need to find the right girl, tell those weird virgins to f off, cuz honey i will hurt no matter what.
lhoavtee 3
that happened to me too