Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I had sex with my wife. After we finished and were cuddling, she said, "This is the part I like." FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years said he would finally take me somewhere romantic. I spent my day at a Star Wars convention. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
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Top comments
skyeyez9 25
its funny what couples do once they are comfortable with each other.
nel15 0
LOL. She's a keeper!
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Comments (74)
nel15 0
LOL. She's a keeper!
White667 0
"I don't see why people like it so much." Lightsabers or Penis's?
WorldCupCheer 0
lol at ops name :D
DisappearingRose 18
She's gonna be a lesbian.
mahounonina 0
let me guess, glow in the dark condom.
KRYPTON1T3 5
Sith or Jedi?
meowmeowwkitty 0
only thing that WOULD make sense here.
meowmeowwkitty 0
ONLY thing that WOULD make sense here
skyeyez9 25
its funny what couples do once they are comfortable with each other.
Sure_Thing 0
I really do NOT see a problem here. Of course nobody likes touching your meat. Besides, anyone who can't appreciate star wars noises deserves no intimacy at all. Christ people...
myknewverr 0
agree.
kianabanannna 21
I'm sure he's referring to the fact that he gave her what she wanted but got nothing in return. which isn't nessasarily that fair :)
Superawesomestev 0
She must be a vegetarian.
Bredynamite 0
i agree with nel15! She is a keeper!
Makaloraii 0
I think it was meant, "I don't see why people like [making star wars noises] so much." YDI for posting an FML and making it stupid.
Shyman4ever 0
YDI for complaining about having such an awesome girlfriend.
I_GET_ASS 0
first!
beepelati 5
man, you fail at life.
yhw718 0
Drew you are correct, but please calm down.. its not that serious. OP yur girlfriend is SICK!! just explain to her when it is appropriate to play around and when you need to be serious in bed
Hiimhaileypotter 53
You're serious in bed? What is it, a business transaction?
crethan33 6
#11 i wonder how your wife/gf or whatever you have enjoys screwing you