Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
You wanker!
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Get some rest
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML
Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
Unimpressed
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
Overdoing it a bit
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Painful romance
Today, while my spouse and I were 'doing the do' we went to change positions… but instead we changed the location of their shoulder joint. Fully dislocated. FML
Ready for anything
Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML
Top comments
turtlemansam 6
Can't you just make up an excuse ?
allmidnighteyes 11
How the **** do you ********** intensely enough to dislocate your shoulder?
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Comments (265)
asselhoff 5
first!
satanic_fml 13
happens to me all the time
alsnyder12 0
make up something stupid YDI
Fuzzygraywolf 0
ur doin it wrong lol
immazombeastxD 0
it would be funnier if you broke your thang
MaxSnacks 0
OP how desperate are you?-
number0 8
YDI for not doing it right. Jacking off is supposed to give you pleasure, not pain... Also, shouldn't you be moving your wrist more than your shoulder?
ellielovesyuh 0
oh that's not awkward at all..
kidsanchez1 4
how ******* hard do you have to ********** to pop your shoulder?
Kimberly_Isabel 7
shoulder? I now would like to know how you **********
pooponyuou 0
is tht even possible?
tgabriel12 0
you must have been really wankin that thing!
Southeastforev 0
lol not at alll....
Arsonnist 3
So you like it rough? I'm guessing by your name too.
FatalWedgie 0
wow. were u giving yourself a reach-around or what? I suppose it's still better than an STD.
JonathanRawr 0
Why's everyone assuming it's a guy? There is no gender specified. By the sound of it, it's more likely to be a girl.
HeatherXCore 0
Lie? lol. say you were workin' out with the shake weight. same movement they wouldn't even know.
liljeron 0
couldn't just think of a good lie?
cyx_fml 0
could've just popped it back in, its easy and not painful.
austinkiser 3
it's obvious op was walking around while masturbating and when it got to their climax they froze and fell down the stairs xD
Hamsterzilla 0
they should have a warning in the beginning of all **** videos..WARNING: EXTREME MASTURBATION MAY CAUSE YOU TO HARM YOURSELF
Jessi_the_sexii 0
someone likes it rough
Edokun 0
some people get plesure out of pain
gabobi91 19
70- Win lol
EricErection69 0
um wow that's odd? how? I'm afraid to find out
EricErection69 0
hehe 70 funny
RoflDanke 0
hahahaha, that commercial makes me laugh ! XD
blackberry8462 0
seriously **** man that's hiiiiiiilarious
Hazzabro 0
wow that sucks
treyroxx 0
lmao 64 tht wuz the first funny comment I've seen all day
cooluc 0
so, 53, about mental pictures... Oprah Winfrey+Rosie O'Donnel+A donkey. Enjoy.
skroal 7
YDI for having to tell your doctor and parents that you dislocated your shoulder while masturbating. Maybe if you keep trying, you'll grow a strange immunity to dislocated shoulders.
xACIDDx 0
..You know skoral. One of these days..I will find you. And when I do...I will back-hand you. ...Might be once, or twice...or maybe even 75 times. But who the hell knows? I'm unpredictable جً_ج
sactownsfinest 0
haha gives new meaning to beating your meat! smooth moves slick!
heyred 11
Your penis is not a shake weight!
Master__Chief 0
when i ********** its like im having a seizure, dang videogames....
maya_papaya 0
what's masterbating?
Trupe 3
All you people are missing the real question. Did you finish after you dislocated it?
LightningLadyy 0
Someone got reaallllyy into it, huh?
jweezy89 4
OP, you must be doing something wrong.
foseberry3 0
that's hardcore. I need a lesson from you
wiggz1990 0
108 am gonna kill you ,,, 110 am with ya buddy
jackiebeat 0
now that's an original epic fail!!
whsoccer 0
u should know
starsforbullets 0
123 What a win, why hasn't anyone answered this yet?
skroal 7
110 - What if I find you first?
ceg098 9
skroal i just want to bitch slap you right now
xjerseyedge 0
poopie
quent10 0
wow I can't think of a comment for that
xjerseyedge 0
yo oh lala yo I bet this kid who posted this fml yo woiluld luv if yuh did daht to him yo being he obviously likes it rough yo!
theFMLwhore5 0
hahaha !! how many times do you have to masterbaite to dislocate your shoulder? duuuuude, go find a hooker or somthing.. Or get a flesh light, I've heard of those :P
benny2465 0
why don't you just lie?
skroal 7
156 - Ok.
ninjacapo 2
wow fail
Kingkiwi 5
lmfao
xACIDDx 0
Oh ho ho. I don't think that's possible skoral. >.>
paralyzingsilenc 0
awe 110 don't be mean
PanteraRules 0
164, I don't think he has enough money for a hooker or a flesh light. If that is the case he probably just needed an excuse to get one, or an excuse to have his family always wonder how he did it
PanteraRules 0
136, nice reference
Brittney_E 0
lmao. awkward. favorited(:
gozatown 0
Teehee, it's because it isn't spelled masterbating. Joke's on you.
kocoman500 2
14- unless you jack off with a softie or have a VERY floppy dick, then you always move your arm+shoulder. how the hell do you do it?? :S
iluvcucumbers 0
i really think it's a girl
black_knight402 0
skoal I hope u get but raped and publish it on fml. just so we can all say ydi for being such a hypocrite
ladiesman14 0
wow. ive seen 94 quadrillion nude girl pics on the internet and im still not blind. nor do i have carpal tunnel or other repetitve stress injuries.
Brittney_E 0
umm thanks for the info dude...?
Austino713 0
wait boy or girl if boy then u fail at mb'ing but if girl then that's actually kinda hot not gonna lie lol :P
austin1414 3
that's a win right?
mmayawn 0
dude really....? hit the gym and I suggest you start with the 5 lb dumbells...... or less.....
xInZaneKaganx 0
hahahaha
cheergirly16 0
get it get it haha;)
Atomosk 3
Op, drama could've been avoided with an "I fell". If this option wasn't obvious, get your head checked.
westsidewhite 0
hmm that's pretty sad...
Brittney_E 0
must be one buff mother fuckker!!
shanie123 10
lol how the hell did he mange to do that!?
facilitator 0
Who said it was a he?
FuckYouDeserveIt 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. *composes self* err umm that sucks. FYL?
turtlemansam 6
Can't you just make up an excuse ?
Raleigh_bruh 7
Agreed. Learn to think on your feet, Op.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Hmm, no littlefoot, I wouldn't know anything about it. What about you? :]
Raleigh_bruh 7
You're such a liar, lunchbox. :]
miamiFTW_ 0
you trying to scratch your neck,raliegh?
Heaven_At_Night 0
I think he's more like trying to show dhe dope ass tattoo on his forearm.
MyChemical_fml 0
LMAO favorited :)
lucindo 0
that'd be ok if the ****** was worth it ;P
mackenzieex3 0
okay, I may be a girl. But really how is that possible? :/
zbaker119 11
It isnt..
porro182 0
learn to **********! i do it every day for past 6 or 5 years and i havn't dislocated nothing! moron! get a women next time to do it! OP u suck!
too_dopee 0
i agree with 36
J493 0
Every day for 6 years??...... don't you think that's a bit too much?
_streets_ 19
every day for six ****** years? holy shit man, maybe u should get a woman..take your own advice.
Arsonnist 3
every day for six whole years??? Just to clear that up.
jramos0070 0
hahaha..wow... :)
Raleigh_bruh 7
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