There's definitely a separate WhatsApp group

Today, the friend I was supposed to meet said, "Oh, I forgot to put it in my calendar." She than suggested all our friends drive out to her place in the morning (instead of the agreed afternoon) when I was unable to attend, which she knew. FML

Today, I was meeting up with a friend in a town. He said he was at the restaurant we were going to meet at; I was too. Turns out I was in the wrong town. FML

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

Thanks, I hate it

Today, a friend texted me to get a ticket and go to a theme park with her tomorrow. I bought a ticket and didn't hear from her until 5 hours later to say she was sorry, but she doesn't think she'll be going. It was $65 and non refundable. FML

Good friends

Today, I invited my friends to meet up at the park. After asking twice, I finally got the text saying to meet them there. But when I got there, I realized they had already been there for a while. As I was walking up to them, I heard, "Why did you invite him?" FML

Uncomfortable encounter

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

Crossed wires

Today, as a good friend, I went to pick up my buddy from the airport. I arrived at the wrong terminal and waited for an hour before realizing he had landed an hour earlier at the other terminal. By the time I found his whereabouts, he'd already taken an Uber home. FML

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML