Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, my husband wants a divorce. His reason, so he claims, is that he went to see a card reader a few months ago and she told him our relationship would not last. Apparently, our astrological signs or something are not compatible, so he thinks we shouldn't waste our time. We've been married for 8 years. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
If the evidence of being together long enough to become engaged isn't enough for your fiancé to ignore an astrologer, then she is pretty much plain ignorant.
MsConfusedd 27
Just go outside at night and point at the stars and say "As you can cleary see, Capricorn is facing Gemini which is under the north star. Obviously, the stars agree that we were meant to be, otherwise Leo would be to the left!"
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Comments (133)
philaahmed 2
Maybe she's just freakingout about the wedding
usmcheins 1
So the little dipper is the cause of your problems
pcentral 17
Sounds like you may be standing on that alter all alone... Hope your fiancé snaps back to reality for you bro
LuckyLynx7732 5
Why does no one ever read the part that say "For entertainment purposes only"?
lexiieeex3 32
She is an intelligent woman.
Mahtale 1
Run bro.
Unbweavable 17
Dump her until she gets help or until you find somebody that really wants to be with you.
realeah 4
Apparently the stars did not align correctly in her head... Or else shed have seen that she's lucky to be with you and that after dating and being engaged, obviously your relationship is going somewhere.
Whistlee 8
....wow
krewer21 1
Whack job.....