Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML
Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, my husband wants a divorce. His reason, so he claims, is that he went to see a card reader a few months ago and she told him our relationship would not last. Apparently, our astrological signs or something are not compatible, so he thinks we shouldn't waste our time. We've been married for 8 years. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my fiancée called off our wedding out of the blue. After a long discussion about it, it turns out that last week I voiced an opinion about the wedding she didn’t agree with, and doesn’t want to spend her life married to someone who’s going to argue with her every five minutes. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML
Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
If the evidence of being together long enough to become engaged isn't enough for your fiancé to ignore an astrologer, then she is pretty much plain ignorant.
MsConfusedd 27
Just go outside at night and point at the stars and say "As you can cleary see, Capricorn is facing Gemini which is under the north star. Obviously, the stars agree that we were meant to be, otherwise Leo would be to the left!"
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Comments (133)
sweetmama88 6
That down right mean, she is changing her mind , maybe she has cold feet and tell her that you love her, regardless what anyone saids! I'm sure she will realize that she was being stupid .
Warden1986 16
Say something witty like,."We can change our stars, because it hasn't been written yet. We'll write them together, because us being together has already changed the stars. Therefore we change the stars to fix us, not the stars to change us."
Inciter 33
Just remind her that you've been together long enough that whatever the stars "say" shouldn't matter. Astrology is cool and all, but definitely not a relationship-predictor. My fiance and I are apparently incompatible, but we're each other's longest relationship. Our worst exes are supposed to be the ones we're most compatible with. Really, the whole compatible/incompatible signs thing is total bullshit.
cubanebgy 2
Aww :( I'm sorry OP maybe it just wasn't meant to be if she doesn't see the real love there
FranzFerdinand 18
So… in a way, the astrologer was right, haha.
jayAZ 3
All marriages are doomed! So, go with it and perhaps you'll be set free! :p
DiscoKiller 4
easily solved - "then you'll just have to take that pretty white dress back to the shop and explain to all your friends that your astrologer is the reason you arent getting married". Otherwise I would see that as "bullet dodged".
Harlequin073 6
What a ****
NissanDriftKing 4
Wow your beautiful
blackvyper 8
Get rid of that sack of sh!t now.