Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss whether or not olive oil is a suitable substitute for lube. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML
Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML
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Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Well, no, because oil degrades latex in condoms. Unless you're not using condoms, in which case it's fine, but might stain the sheets. Best to avoid it.
BlackHawkSavior 28
Well... enlighten us, is it or is it not?
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Comments (68)
Bearsmomma 30
I feel for you. It's like my grandma asking for detailed information on how exactly I have sex with another woman.
Miss_Whipped 43
It's very UNLIKE that situation entirely. On the one hand, you have your grandma asking personal details about sexual activities, on the other, you have a conversation about sexual lubrication that might place you in an awkward scenario where you're picturing your grandma getting it on with some olive oil. I'd say the latter is much worse lol.
izzajaneful 24
I'd say the first is worse, actually.
tipsyone 22
So... Is it?
Goblin182 27
Yes, olive oil is a good substitute for lube. A lot of food manufacturers use it in their machinery instead of petroleum based lube.
RosaMaravillosa 10
???
Goblin182 27
Olive oil is a food grade lubricant where petroleum based lubricants are not. If the petroleum based lubes leaked out into the food there would be health concerns where the olive oil would not be harmful. They also use peanut butter rather than petroleum based greases.
zezili 18
Sounds like a great way to get a uti
heyLaddieHey 18
I mean....the Greeks.
Hyacinth_shmily 12
Your grandma is so humorous, I like it. LOL
Marjo86 29
Well, yes, it is. However keep in mind it is NOT safe to use with condoms. It'll affect the latex.
imabat 14
Okay Archer..
smxiricky 23
my friend talked about this like a week ago oh shit..
SteveDudleyUK 10
Use Virgin Olive Oil for those tight situations. Try it on nuts too.