Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my ex is sleeping in the basement for a few days until he can find a new place. All three of my cats would rather snuggle with him on the couch, even though two of them hate each other. None want to be with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I had to get rid of my cats, or he would leave. He punched a hole in my wall when I told him I chose the cats. FML
Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML
Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to get into an open relationship. He has no romantic feelings for me anymore, but he didn't want to separate from my cat. FML
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Top comments
Blacksxe 1
Steal his stuff and give it to charity. Well you can't stand seeing things that remind you of him.
sparxva 12
Go to the animal shelter. Explain that your ex said he can'tlive with your cat anymore and you had to choose. Then tell them your ex is moving out tomorrow. They'll probably give you your cat back and won't be able to stop laughing.
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Comments (135)
jillianmathers12 13
Go to the shelter and get it back!
steadycreepin 5
What a dick
Wreckless_fml 6
That's what she said.
btstig 11
Cats suck anyway!!
deviable 9
Get that cat back, then throw it at his head. While he bleeds say "I guess my cats claws couldn't stand being around your face any longer. "
somewizdom 15
What's with all the "pussy" jokes?
perdix 31
You mean like, "While he's getting rid of pussy, why stop at one?" I guess that since we use the same word for cat and ******, the pun possibilities are too tempting and easy. And many of us are puerile enough to laugh at every one of them.
stacianichole 2
What's surprising about all the "pussy" jokes?
perdix 31
It's your remote control for boys.
Twisted_Angel 17
So go to the shelter, get your cat back, then throw his shit outside and change the locks. When he asks why, tell him your cat can't stand to live with him any longer.
BadKitty13 28
YA ! HEW DESERVES TO HAVE HIS SHIT OUT ON THE SIDEWALK AND LOCKED OUT !!!! WHAT A SHIT ASS.
MatthewHass 4
Or light his shit on fire
MatthewHass 4
******* idiot
pinkspaceboundro 0
If someone did that to my cat- there would be hell to pay!
DocBastard 40
What a sad tail! This is the purrfect opportunity to find your best friend and whisker away to some tropical island so you can furget this catastrophe. Just paws and take a deep breath, go to your clawset, and pack your stuff. Bon voyage!
THE_A_TEEN 28
For the first time ever, my brain overloads with purrfect puns from doc bastard. Im gonna go check my I.Q. now...
akayc32 0
That was quite good.
lmaoatall 6
I'm sure he has a few boxes already packed that you can shit in. Make sure you tape it back up nice and snug.