Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, the school called my dad telling him they want to put me on a diet, because they're worried about my weight. FML
Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I overheard the popular kids say that they were planning on going to the local fast food restaurant to take pictures of the obese people that go there. Not only do I work there, but my family and I were planning on having dinner there tonight. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for ordering too much fast food. The only reason I’m doing it is because there isn’t any food in the house. Not only that but I’m also trying to gain weight. FML
Today, while at my mom’s house, my mom told me that I need to seriously curb my food intake. Then I went to my dad’s house and he told me I need to gain weight. I can’t win here. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
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Top comments
chocchipcookies 0
Your dad's an asshole, no offence to you...
Cinn_fml 23
This is what parents do; embarrass their kids at any chance they get. Besides, if the guys got put off by his words then you don't want them anyway. And you know how much you weigh and if you're happy with it, then let it be and just laugh it off.
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Comments (106)
nicknesser 0
Fatty.
DahkLohd 4
Best first comment ever.
iliketurdles 7
I would just punch you in the face. This is totally unrelated to the FML. That is all.
ShadyFTW1 0
How is it unrelated? The fml has losing weight as a factor. Dumbass.
DahkLohd 4
You want to punch me in the face? You're not going to break my nose; I can promise you that. I, on the other hand, would probably kill you. :)
sugarr0babby0 0
double embarassment :( sorry OP
Thin_Ice_fml 0
19 haha.
glorialaura21 8
19 is a winner. (: lol
miraggg 1
fatty fatterson
mamamiaaa_fml 12
18- you're dumb.
epiikgangster11 2
yes finally some people that support anti-fat
UniUni 20
You're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right
chocchipcookies 0
Your dad's an asshole, no offence to you...
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
hey! I take offence to that!
chocchipcookies 0
haha, i hope so!
Trace01m 11
I take offense to your spelling..
oliver86 8
ZING!!!^
DocBastard 40
I take offence to people who still haven't recognised that there are variations in the spelling of certain English words.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
finally the bastard is on my side for a change :p
skorpien 1
33, and you should! How dare people from other countries spell words differently than the United States! That's just downright appalling! Both of those posters you claim to take offense to are from Australia. They spell words like they do in England… where, oddly enough, is where English originated. Americans aren't the only ones that use FML.
Trace01m 11
You're right, but being fairly new to the site I haven't quite grasped the slight differences like that. And I don't really pay attention to where anyone is from. Because I'm am asshole.
chocchipcookies 0
TheRealFamilyGuy, you're one of my fave FML'ers. Trace01m, you're an asshole! :) Have a nice day!
Judus_beej 0
your dad is just looking out for you. I'm thinking Arbys. arbys just gave me a nice check for advertising on fml ;)
Mirorbo 27
Ah, parents~
TransitionCovert 6
,darling
perdix 31
Dad probably wanted to keep you all for himself. ;) Of course, that could backfire if the the guys were plumpa humpas.
Helloiloveyou199_fml 0
rofl
obamathellama 0
Wtf plumpa lumpa?
Judus_beej 0
you should have said to your dad "the more cushion the better the pushin."
14MEDIC14 0
LMAO. FTW
ashseal 11
AWWW hahahahahahhaah I laughed so hard at this
Lordlucian 0
WERE, there WERE two guys, not WAS
rhm2084 1
No PeRsOnS haS caRe about wordz spiling U got dat ?!!!111!!
brootalxkeni 0
yeah, people do care, actually. we go to school and learn to spell the right way. if you spell wrong (especially when done on purpose), you look like an idiot.
turturkeykey 0
ya srs. errbody noez that skulez ar importent
matt692009 0
No... most of us don't care, and have better things to do with there life.
turturkeykey 0
Oh, and I am pretty sure that we also learned to capitalize too. At least at my school.
ClandestineGhost 0
Haha, actually OP did spell the word 'was' in the correct way. It is a grammar issue, not a spelling issue. Bring on the trolls. :)
Lifeisntfair13 0
lmao you have a horrible but yet funny and embrassing father.
Cinn_fml 23
This is what parents do; embarrass their kids at any chance they get. Besides, if the guys got put off by his words then you don't want them anyway. And you know how much you weigh and if you're happy with it, then let it be and just laugh it off.
Zosiaaa 0
Yeah, really. Parents just don't understand.
ajfraser 3
you are annoying and take everything too seriously
Cinn_fml 23
...I think someone opened the door again. :P But really, why does it matter? Everyone else uses the site in their own way, why not let me have mine? And as I've said many times before, I'm not always serious.