Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend, who broke up with me the day before yesterday, got a job at my workplace. He shows up dressed his best clothes, clean-shaven, and with perfume. For the 10 months we dated, I only saw him in baggy tops, sweatpants, a weird beard, and the smell of sweat. FML
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Top comments
KBear3109 29
Have him arrested!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well revenge is a dish best served cold...
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Comments (86)
kittykat1818 6
ahh.....romance.
Sitaaboo 6
What a dick move..
curvaliciousnerd 1
No hard feelings though, right? For everyone posting that she's a ***** for living with a new bf, it is possible he just keeps his toothbrush there. My boyfriend doesn't live with me and has one here.
dolphins_penny 5
honestly I moved in with my husband before we were even dating and I'm happily married. that doesn't make you a *****. maybe her bf was beating her and she finally got the courage to throw him out and had her new bf there to protect her in case her ex came around. maybe her new bf apartment lease went up and he needed a place to live so she decided they would share the price. you don't know so u can't say she's a *****. a ***** in my opinion is someone who sells themselves for sex or has sex with everyone. there's nothing in her story that even leads to either of those conclusions.
Alastrina_fml 20
Good gods, what an ASSHOLE!!! She did the right thing by throwing him out if he was going to act that immature. Unless the OP cheated on him, she didn't deserve that crap. HE'S AN EX FOR A REASON!!! Save the toothbrush as evidence and file charges against him.
cherryllollo 7
U threw him out a month ago and already have a new guy living with u?
onorexveritas 24
now THAT'S payback xD
cliffey123 2
I think you deserved it to be honest. Kicked him out a month ago and already living with a new boyfriend? Get around a bit.
G_of_teh_T 3
it was only a month, yet you already have a new BF keeping his toothbrush there?
Bamaf22 6
You should say and this is why you are single.
christonabike 3
Quality lol, I'm so gonna do that if I'm ever in his position lmfao!!!