Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a day after after I took a diet pill, I participated in a sprint test. I shat in my pants. I finished the test but got a bad grade. FML
Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, I was given my marching orders because I corrected my supervisor on something he was actually doing wrong. It seems I deserve this for "not learning to obey my immediate superiors." FML
Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML
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Top comments
stieglar 17
Rule #1 of military training, don't talk back man. Have you not seen full metal jacket?
cat4651 15
You had to have known that talking back would probably end badly.
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Comments (54)
khorstmye 15
Is that you John Wayne?
CliffyB03 28
Nope. I'm gonna be part of that small percent that say "you deserved it" because you don't ever make a smartass remark to a drill Sargent
Angsty_Armadillo 25
There are two really important things to remember being in basic. One, keep your mouth shut. And two, never volunteer for ANYTHING.
goozeo 11
Doesn't anyone think maybe he didn't mean to smart off and was just really nervous? This happened to my brother a few times at basic training lol
dutchy86 20
is that you? private joker....?....
StzaCrack666 18
I'll say you deserve it because joining the Army is a bad thingm
little_fucker 18
I'll say you're a pussy who doesn't deserve to be free and protected by the same damn soldiers who joined the army that you're calling a bad thing
Stumpy52 2
go bitch on facebook, the only people who care are your family. you talked back, running should be the least of your worries
ArtemisRwill 22
YDI, never talk back to your DI. Your only vocabulary with him should be "Yes, Sir!" and "No, Sir!" Don't be a dumb ass.
corky1992 33
Don't feel sorry for you lol. You don't make smart ass comments towards your drill sergeant.
nightstalker282 6
I'm a veteran myself so reading this made my day. I started remembering my time through boot camp. Think of it like this, even though you mouthed off at the wrong moment all the "corrective training" is going to make you stronger than you already are.