Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a day after after I took a diet pill, I participated in a sprint test. I shat in my pants. I finished the test but got a bad grade. FML
Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, I was given my marching orders because I corrected my supervisor on something he was actually doing wrong. It seems I deserve this for "not learning to obey my immediate superiors." FML
Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML
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Top comments
stieglar 17
Rule #1 of military training, don't talk back man. Have you not seen full metal jacket?
cat4651 15
You had to have known that talking back would probably end badly.
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Comments (54)
I_Like_Dogs 28
Well cheese.
Dick_diamond 22
That was a "soup sandwich" move. You should know better than to talk back..
inknsword 4
How do you ever have your phone at training??? That's the first thing they take!
vampire623 6
unless they are a re enlistment then they don't go through the same one but still should know better
klutz44 28
Why do people always ask these types of questions? Just because the FML begins with "Today", doesn't actually mean it happened today. This could have happened 6 months ago but the OP just posted it now.
limitedition 25
I would bet he will be laughing over your funny comment with his buddies later. Until then have fun running.
igg125 30
How did you get access to FML in boot camp?
Szaszaspasz 26
OP, it sucks now, but it is funny later. FYI I am pretty positive the instructors do go and yuk it up over the antics of their recruits. (I did 23 years in the Canadian Military) I'm sure our foibles as recruits were a source of amusement for the instructors (after our punishments). It makes a good war story for you to tell, as shown by this FML. FYL BTW. XD
tygerarmy 35
Hahaha, keep running 'til I get tired.
RoseLich 17
My brother's platoon got in trouble once. Their room had a sign: "Do not smash holes in the wall with your head." 'Twas very specific, and someone smashed their head through the wall. But, yeah, FYL. Good to know you have a sense of humour there.
silky_mitts 11
Everyone knows there's no cheese on a shit sandwich - ydi
bobbabson 8
You can't even have your phone when you go to basic training so this post is complete bull
bip_it_702 11
Actually depends on your mos or job in the military. Had plenty of buddies that had there phone all through basic. My company wasn't that lucky
never_three 21
Idk about any of the other branches, but basic is the same for all initial entry trainees. AIT is different and phones are allowed to stay in each soldiers possession but only after the training day is done.
ThatHorse 15
That depends on the training and where you live and other circumstances. Like if you have a kid and you live only a few minutes jog/drive away you can be allowed to go home each day to see your kid. Or other situations similar to that.