Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a day after after I took a diet pill, I participated in a sprint test. I shat in my pants. I finished the test but got a bad grade. FML
Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, I was given my marching orders because I corrected my supervisor on something he was actually doing wrong. It seems I deserve this for "not learning to obey my immediate superiors." FML
Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML
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Top comments
stieglar 17
Rule #1 of military training, don't talk back man. Have you not seen full metal jacket?
cat4651 15
You had to have known that talking back would probably end badly.
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Comments (54)
WOTAN1488 24
Should've watched FMJ first.
baxterlondon 10
unless you submitted this after the fact most BMT's won't allow use of cellphone unless under direct supervision. I smell possible stolen valor here...
bradoiler 15
i dont think it was worth it was it ahah
Chris_1163187222 15
Moron