Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a day after after I took a diet pill, I participated in a sprint test. I shat in my pants. I finished the test but got a bad grade. FML
Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML
Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML
Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, I was given my marching orders because I corrected my supervisor on something he was actually doing wrong. It seems I deserve this for "not learning to obey my immediate superiors." FML
Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stieglar 17
Rule #1 of military training, don't talk back man. Have you not seen full metal jacket?
cat4651 15
You had to have known that talking back would probably end badly.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (54)
bryanfml7 3
Holy Santa clause shit.. How the **** do you have your phone in basic?? Why the **** did you call your drill sir? He works for a ******* living. This post is about as dicked up as you are private. Just smoke yourself till you puke.
GoArmy6624 7
I didn't get my phone in boot camp. Boy, a lot has changed...
Badkarma4u 17
Awesome dude. Have fun with it. Its just a game. When you were out of earshot he probably had a laught with the other drill sergeants about it. I got dropped so many times for having fun with the whole army thing. I was able to max my pt test.
c420racer 13
You deserve it for not saying 'sir' after cheese. It's "It's yes sir, with extra cheese sir!"
caliguy08 17
Whoa whoa whoa....hold up a second...since when can you use the Internet in bootcamp? What is wrong with this generation of Soldier/Sailor/Marine/Flyboy that you can't spend 3 short months without connection to the Internet? You disgust me USN E-5/PO2 (2002-2012)
Morning_fml 22
Hahaha, you got some serious balls, man, I'll give you that.
Velhalv 12
Best answer. +1 for balls and wits.
worldclassrager 41
Reply when they give you permission only...
i_lol_at_life 12
You forgot the "sir" after cheese....
Rectov 10
Dude that was your own fault. Don't talk back in the military. Thanks for serving though