mugged
United States
Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
woofwoof
Izmir, Turkey
Unattack dog
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
macguy
Quezon City, Philippines
Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML
Anonymous
Sanford, United States
Not so smooth criminal
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
mr_dinzaster
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Cartoonish
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Bad boy
Naughty boy
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
anyonmus
Westminster, United States
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Cedar Buero
Cape Girardeau, United States
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
SterlingEnigma
United States
Irony at a base level
Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
ZAnon
Houston, United States
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
Top comments
BLAZZZEEEDDD 1
dogs always go for food
AlienX_fml 0
I usually bring an apple when i mug people. Just in case they have a dog.
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Comments (156)
jennabennasser 0
that dog has his priorities
skulluks 0
I like the way you trained your dog. You should have a show on Animal Planet.
kaylynn732 0
Lmao, I'm not laughing at you OP, but this reminds me of what my boyfriends brother says, "Doggy Eat Whole Apple?!?!"
emariebake 0
time for a new dog. ydi for not training your dog to be on his game.
ReginalUT 0
Shoot that ******* mut!
takemethere 0
don't blame the dog?
cdude200 10
maybe you should take care of your dog better
Kcorb90 0
An apple a day keeps the dr. away, I don't blame it
Calyx_fml 22
That's because you are the alpha dog. Alpha dogs always lead the attack. Beta dogs follow. Either be the beta dog or grow a pair.
Wezl8 0
This post seems fake. No mugger would try to go for some one with a dog. People are dumb but even stupid people fear.