Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML
Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML
Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML
You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone
Today, my only daughter and her boyfriend sat me down for an important talk. I was thrilled, thinking they were engaged or pregnant. They actually wanted to tell me they're moving half way around the world. FML
You played yourself
Today, my idiot daughter is sat next to me crying because she took her ex to court for child support, convinced she was gonna get paid, even though her kids live with their dad full time. Now she's paying HIM child support and can’t afford her flat anymore, so she wants to move in with me. FML
Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Top comments
stepdracmos 0
Is there anything to value more in life than this?
Rommel1942 9
And so the gaming generation for girls keeps growing... :3
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Comments (164)
stepdracmos 0
Is there anything to value more in life than this?
doctorhook86 25
The OP's daughter just doesn't have the same connection with her mom.
golferman72 16
Tell her in your day that you didn't even have Internet!
doctorhook86 25
The OP's daughter just doesn't have the same connection with her mom.
Zya_fml 8
Well..to the majority of the kids in this generation..no there's nothing more valuable.
PenguinSwag47 0
10 - Yeah, that'll show her!
PrimeEvilTahir 24
I think it's a very solid reason to leave. Heck if I were a judge in a court, I'd support the reason to kill/divorce/disavow-child/child-custody etc over an Internet connection... Especially when diablo 3 needs the ******* Internet with a good ping 24/7!!! *takes long deep breaths* ... Sorry about the nerd rage....
simonelli 9
And what would that accomplish? Us kids, don't listen to parents when they say that. We scoff and walk away thinking "poor, poor people".
unknown_user5566 27
Can't blame the daughter. When I was a teenager, my mom still had AOL, and my dad had Cox. Guess where I spent most of my time? Also in anticipation of the "lol her dad had cox" comments, just keep them to yourself, I think we have all heard them a million times. ;)
perdix 31
#71, did your hear this one: I guess when you were at your dad's, your mom had Cox, too. 'Cause that would've been a good one.
eccentrix 12
75 - You don't need an internet connection to write code.
doctorhook86 25
100: Fair point, but what kind of self-respecting would-be web developer can script PHP but can't figure out a way to steal his neighbor's wifi?
DogsPaw 16
Scripting and let's just say hacking a WiFi connection. Ones okay while the other is illegal. Now if unlocked it's piggyback time!
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
68- you make all American adolescents sound like disrespectful, ill mannered punks. People like you make me wish I wasn't American sometimes. Edit: I misread thumb me down
unsuccesfulmastu 4
Of course you need a fast Internet how else are you going to look up 100 different tabs of kinky fetish ****.
MsBHaven 8
100 tabs of kinky ****!? a nick by the name of 'unsuccesfulmastu'? ...the rest of that wouldn't happen to be 'bater' by any chance would it!? :S
TheDrudgeChild 4
75 - Coming from an amateur programmer who deals with HTML and PHP all the time, you need an Internet connection to use most of the code you write though.
unsuccesfulmastu 4
Why yes yes it would happen to be the rest of it haha but it was to long :( I rock my unsuccessful swag...
TheOtherNewest1 6
I just wanted to respond to tell you how much I loved that pun. <3 Thanks.
Shaqui93 7
Not really^^
Rommel1942 9
And so the gaming generation for girls keeps growing... :3
SkoomaKi 28
*scoffs* gaming generation for girls. (Joke)
thatKidzmOm 10
This made me think of the big bang theory episode where penny gets addicted to an online game...complete with Cheetos in her hair.
unknown_user5566 27
Absolutely! It's funny because I'm a gamer, and I'll play just about anything, whereas my husband won't touch a video game. Role reversal. ;)
kamakazi1 5
Not to be Buzz Killington here, but it didn't really say anything about games. While it can be assumed, you also need a fast Internet connection for videos, loading pages, etc.
Mauskau 36
Need a fast Internet connection for uploading duckfaces quickly! But yeah if my parents split my dad would have the internet and mum wouldn't as she doesnt use it. As a gamer myself I have to go for the Internet :P
nesso247 3
Sexist
zoereevex 7
Uhhh I don't game and can't live with a slow internet connection.
kirra16 5
Here is my ten year old brother's wishlist that he told my parents and I. "A decent gaming laptop with 2 gigabytes of ram, a recording software so I can upload things to YouTube and a faster Internet connection." Why does he need this? He wants to play Minecraft.. When I was 10, I wanted a cool-looking bike.
Ed_Killer 1
Give him all the stuff, minecraft is important!
ashtay01 5
The "Desert Fox". Nice!!!
enchi999 8
Well isn't she caring
yetanotherginger 19
So then she'll go to her dad's because it has working internet, regardless of the speed
LaughinStock 16
Must be on that Walmart connection. Very stupid reason to just leave there is more to it Op.
22cute 17
Not necessarily. See comments above.
TriflingAllDay 6
Yes and, She will be able to realize this FML got accepted before you.
Crownsroyal11 1
You deserve that. Lol it's that era where Internet is very important for young adults. I was walking through the local hospital and saw young kids 6 to 9 years old with iPads and iPhones. I still remember my old tonka trucks and sand box.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I understand maybe allowing your child to play on your iPhone/iPad when they were bored, but having their own? I think that's ridiculous. MAYBE an iPod touch, with Internet and YouTube disabled so you can only use it for the games, but iPads? Wtf? What's wrong with going outside and playing? :/
A7X_LoVeee 10
Going outside and playing doesn't seem to exist anymore. I've lived in the same neighborhood my whole life and I was always outside with my friends as a kid. Now, I hardly see any of the younger kids out.
Bluekaren16 19
Yea thats why kids have a shorter attention span. Damn technology!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
It's a shame, really. I'm almost 17; of course I love the Internet (I am on FML after all :p) but I also go outside and do stuff! I ride my horse, plant my garden, or even just sit outside and read. It's better than sitting inside on my ass playing on my iPhone or watching YouTube videos. :P
Bobissmall 13
Problems with going outside and playing: Increased danger, increased need for supervision and decreased amount of fun(?)
thatKidzmOm 10
A heat index of 112 degrees keeps my daughter inside most of the time, but she plays a super Nintendo and has real toys like dolls and Legos.
Bobissmall 13
Ouch, why am I getting thumbed down? It's true, parents are more worried about their children being kidnapped, paedophiles, strangers, not to mention other kids. They can't spend all their time watching their kids, so why not just buy them an iPod they can play while near by?
Senseless_487 29
Because we don't need an even lazier generation. Parents SHOULD get off their asses and go outside to watch their kids if they're so concerned. Too many parent rely on electronics to babysit their kids nowadays. Seriously, spend some quality time with them, rather than put an iPod in front of them.
whosindahouse 9
I have an iPod touch and a computer that I bought myself and I go outside all the time and the only reason I go on them is to go on FML or check my email.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
52- Yeah, I'm almost fifteen and my mom gets paranoid when I try and so much as cross the street. I'm not allowed to play outside, really. I sort of did when I was younger, but my parents feel like if I even stick a toe out of the door, I'm going to get raped and murdered.
gionatorinc 5
well thats a waste of a computer...
Shadowvoid 33
Did you name your horse rainbow dash? :)
Dindersnorf 5
How many kids do you have? Do you really have any idea how hard it is to take care of children?
iwilkilalzmBs 2
My 7 year old little brother has an iPod 4, an iPad 2, and a laptop. At his age, I remember not being allowed to use YouTube on my own when playing on my dad's laptop for 30 minutes per day. Also, I really love my old rescue heroes. Man, those were great...
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
142- Well, I got my first phone when I was seven, but I only used it to call my dad when he was stationed away. And I had an iPod, but I only had stuff like Hannah Montana songs and Jonas brothers on it. I also had my own computer, but only really played games on the Disney Channel website. It's possible to give kids technology without them going overboard.
saIty 17
Well those Direct tv commercials are very convincing.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Don't attend your own funeral as a guy named phil shiffley. Get direct tv. Not sure what that has to do with Internet though.
saIty 17
You're right. Man, I gotta lay off inhaling unicorn butt burps..
KiddNYC1O 22
Unicorn butt burps.... Hmmmm.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
33- The DirectTv commercials imply that you do stupid shit when you don't have internet connection and your life ends up pretty ******. Maybe OP's daughter doesn't want to be a statistic!
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
I thought the point of the commercial was to get rid of cable television and replace it with direct tv. Still has nothing to do with the Internet connection...
leogirl95 12
That's a legitimate reason
lolfood 24
Get faster Internet, then she will stay with you!
KK3137 31
The thing is that then the mother would know the daughter is only staying because of the internet, rather than for the mother. Also it might start a competition between the parents and those things are tough!
easy2member 1
Yea, and if she does nothing she loses the competition
trippythehippy 6
At least she has her priorities straight. Good job there. Note the sarcasm dripping