Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy." Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
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Top comments
underguarded 20
At least she's correct.
Hockey_fan 0
Shoulda been "Grab daddy a beer" ....he missed the opportunity
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Comments (86)
max13_fml 8
awwwhhh haha thats adorable!
livewire1701 8
I taught my friends daughter to say Jagger and Vodka. She's a hit at parties now.
GamerMaster2041 12
Ah i can imagine baby saying that haha Ipooooop XD
leadman1989 16
"I sheet" Op - WTF???
kenshimori 10
Her father is a genius.
ThisIsSpicy 2
iPOOP... Babys first Apple product. Eh..
Battle765 4
I would be more worried about the jokes she is going to hear when she goes to school if her name truly is apple.
applesmama 9
Actually, Her middle name is Apple @#53. Yeah we have all been practicing with her, but thats what she picked up first. Comes in handy :)
Egnar 19
You sound cheerful about it - seems like much less of an FML. . .
nagbackdive 0
That's a win!
mockingjay_fml 0
It's not that bad , it's kinda funny in a cute baby way :)