Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
Today, my father-in-law announced the name of his new son, my husband's half-brother. The first name and last name is the same as our son, who I gave birth to 4 months ago. FML
Today, I heard my daughter-in-law refer to her twin daughters, my precious twin grandbabies, as “the good one” and “the shit stain”. FML
Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML
Today, I went to my first ultrasound appointment. The daughter I was hoping for is actually going to be boy triplets. FML
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML
Today, I announced my fourth pregnancy, this time with twins. I heard my mother mutter, “Finally two kids from the same dad.” FML
Today, my partner convinced both of our little brothers that we are naming our son Obi-Wan. They now won't stop rubbing my belly and quoting Star Wars. This is going to be one long Christmas. FML
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Top comments
Enslaved 38
Those names have a nice Ring to them.
mfjkr 10
You can drink your fancy ales you can drink em by the flagon but the only brew for the brave and true... comes from the green dragon.
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Comments (278)
RecklessJellyBea 7
Name your kids after yourself, you're a horrible horrible person. Name your kids after hobbits from a movie franchise you like, you're amazing. FML patrons are ridiculously biased.
SoylentCandycorn 10
The funny part is, if the kids were named Edward and Jacob, the FML patrons would probably be screaming child abuse and be demanding the mother's blood. Personally, I think it's a bit pathetic when parents force their obsessions onto their children so aggressively. I'm not going to dress my toddlers up as Link and Zelda, or make them wear romper suits with triforce motifs. When they're old enough, I'll just leave the games around where the children are likely to stumble upon them. If you want to share something you're a fan of with your children, there are ways to do it without being an obnoxious twat.
perdix 31
Looks like the child abuse is starting right out of the gate. If there's anything a kid wants, it would be being very different from all the other kids. They love to stand out from the crowd with things like clever names and fancy dress. Send the boys to school wearing bow ties and Capri pants, and watch their popularity soar!
dannyboy66 7
That is ******* awesome!!!
LeishaG 5
She must have High hopes for them...
interesting33 37
That sounds funny in a way but actually opens them up to a tremendous amount of bullying.
PsychoBitch666 8
Don't worry, my future children will be named after evil.
SammyMarieX 10
She could've named one of them "Hashtag".
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
What's wrong with that?
WhatOfDreaming 6
Fairly sure that'd be grounds for a child abuse claim...
StephenStills 6
I'm sorry to say your grandsons will be beaten to death in the school yard...