Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML
Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML
Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML
Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML
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Top comments
GaryMuzz 4
how about you man up and wake up on your own?
Tuesdays76 0
Well GOOD MORNING! Why drink coffee when you can get smacked in the face with a Night Stand?
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Comments (169)
docscientist 10
What the **** are you people babbling about?
Dragons_corner 6
sounds like a painful wakeup alarm.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
POW, right in the kisser.
fawkingAye 0
FYDads life for having such a lazy retarded child.
SydneyAustralia2 0
Wow ; how are you gonna say that ? ! stop being such a hater .. ;D
SydneyAustralia2 0
Dudee ; I like did that last weeek ! (; Hurt like hella bad !
Gravity17 4
I woulda been so mad at myself.!* smh
rawyak 4
u actually feel kinda high when u get up from being upside down for 8 hours. p.s. don't stay like that for over 10 hours. u might die
koalabearmiracle 0
if u weren't rly awake why would u sit up in the first place?
Lotem_KW 3
it's cool, I do the same thing >.> except it's not my nightstand... it's my hard wood flooring that rests 2 1/2 feet below the top of my bed x/
steffieee 0
owwie... bet you get up when they tell you to now dontchaa