Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML
Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year-old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML
Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML
Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML
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Top comments
frank_b102 9
Well that kid definitely deserves a raise in his allowance!
91hayek 31
Well that's one way for the church to market Jesus to kids. Also 3 days to respawn like in video games.
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Comments (60)
frank_b102 9
Well that kid definitely deserves a raise in his allowance!
FracturedMinds 21
Agreed. That's one kid who's ready for the zombie apocalypse.
golferman72 16
Jesus actually died for our sins and sacrificed his life for us. Then after 3 days he rose again from the dead and later ascended into Heaven. Amen.
BrokenDreamer24 15
As much as some people appreciate your correction, I think you missed the joke man.
Redoxx_fml 22
Sweet zombie Jesus!
Lomus 24
#14, we didn't come here for a sermon. Plus, as someone said before me, it was a joke, though few religious folk tend to get them.
rocker_chick23 27
#14: The joke went way over your head.
jonfrenzy 10
Why da fudge are you doing #14?
wannabeactress71 8
Agreed, if it was my kid I would've high-fived him/her right there and then.
Vitotaylor36 13
I'm religious, and I got it. I think that's hilarious.
project2r 14
your kid is awesome.
91hayek 31
Well that's one way for the church to market Jesus to kids. Also 3 days to respawn like in video games.
Pleonasm 36
You need to try out more instaspawn servers if you're waiting three days.
vipirius 18
That must be one long ass game of Counter Strike if it takes 3 days to respawn.
Pleonasm 36
Flashbangs blind for 2 hours; imagine that?
oh_hell_naw 15
If my kid said that, I'd be proud.
pjsr 33
Don't most zombie movies/games have ratings which would exclude 9 year olds?
SammyS2012 21
the ratings given state that the parent could decide whether the child watches it or not. my 10 year old cousin isnt afraid of them, so she watches the walking dead with her older sister and dad.
rocker_chick23 27
38: Your point is? My parents let me play M rated games and watch R rated movies when I was 9.
paigexox0 37
I don't know if she worded that properly haha! As a 9 year old i probably would have had the same thing pop in my mind! But if it was my kid...we would've gone out for ice cream later
DrHail 22
Smart kid! No way this is an FML! Be proud.
serenity40 6
Genius! Your kid will do great things. Be proud.
Fuaaad1994 31
You should let your kid talk to the Jehovah's Witness people who bang on your door, it would make an interesting conversation
cakefete2 31
I'm a religious person, but even i had to laugh at that. Well done.
LostInTheZone11 29
Well, your kid is not exactly wrong.
Michael903 18
Out of the mouths of babes.
ohSNAPyall 27
She's 9. She is in like 3rd grade. She is specifically trying to be funny.
Mynamewontfi 40
Your kid is awesome. And he/she isn't far off with the comparison.
Mrtigerblue 14
if that was my kid I would have been so proud. that being said I bet the lady didn't appreciate his thoughts on it