Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML
Today, my friend wasn't responding to my whispers in the library, so I walked over and very slightly moved his chair. At that exact moment, the librarian walked in. Regardless of our efforts to tell her anything, she got us banned from the library. FML
Today, I tried to take a shortcut home. I got lost and had to ask a stranger for directions. They pointed to the street sign above me that literally had my street's name on it. FML
Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
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Top comments
jenjen2633 17
It's always the innocent looking ones...
TheKingKen 22
It always makes me sad when a person's entertainment is at the expense of someone else. It happens all the time
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Comments (111)
Lebeaugars95 20
looll nobody in Toronto is like that, wdf
JennaNGood 21
Yeah, when I moved to Toronto, everybody I asked for directions was SUPER nice. It is also OP's fault for trusting her after that ..
worldclassrager 41
Ontario*
Lebeaugars95 20
read OP's name....
kingdomgirl94 29
Tdot is weird ass slang for Toronto for those who don't know.
laden_swallow09 35
^ Thank you.
dabears1011234 27
Do you happen to be in New York City?
anormalperson 25
It says Canada above the FML so no.
CobraLazerFace 21
Canada man, Canada
incoherentrmblr 22
It it wasn't in Canada, I'd guess NYC or LA. Talk about being cold...
addictedtoIASIP 14
Talk about not taking the time to read where the guys from. He's from canada
sexpectations 15
Toronto, to be exact
xoteeshaox 22
if you are on the mobile app, it doesnt say where from. or at least not on my app (on a windows phone)
omgbrainZ_fml 24
@63 there are other big cities in Canada such as Ottawa Montreal and Vancouver.
ShowMeKay 20
#78 - No, 63's comment is right. OP's name says "lost in tdot" which stands for Toronto specifically.
Godsofdracos 15
Is Toronto part of Ontario, or vice versa? The post on the official FML app says published - Canada, Ontario.
Godsofdracos 15
Ignore me, didn't realize Ontario was a province in Canada and Toronto was its capital.
bluejayfan02 27
his name is "Lostintdot" i live 45 min north from Toronto and Tdot is another name for it.
JosephMoore77 8
Read under the fml, it says it in small text, #64
octopussperm125 18
Nyc isnt only composed of assholes anymore, its slowly being overrun by hipsters
GenH2105 14
#36: It's 82 degrees in Toronto today...
jenjen2633 17
It's always the innocent looking ones...
sarneeley 14
Google it!
flufee2 27
Maybe he needs the library for internet
kirito51 5
then how is he writing this ?
flufee2 27
He found the library!!!
doctorhook86 25
#85: Nah, man. Gay strip clubs have wifi now, didntyaknow?
garadan1 18
Ugh. I cannot believe people sometimes. Sorry, OP. Hope you found the way!
TheKingKen 22
It always makes me sad when a person's entertainment is at the expense of someone else. It happens all the time
minesbiggerr 25
^ this
Steephx0 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Genius. Sorry in advance for anyone who asks me for directions...
SMHsohard 22
And the award for Douchebag of the Year goes to...
kinky44 28
Me. Man, my mom is gonna be so proud!
jkmartinjk 16
^Your award goes well with your profile pic
JRT98 12
Well, at least you know where you are, kind of. Better than being in an alley.
HAMY_fml 23
Try asking a police officer or a pizza place that delivers is just as good. ( plus you could get pizza)
shudson186 17
Or... Just pull out a map at at tourist booth. Even if they don't have a cellphone there is places that help tourists find locations. OP can use that as well. No need to go to a pizza place while they are already busy to get directions.
ShowMeKay 20
Toronto doesn't really have tourist booths around except major malls and attractions. Gas stations are probably the best bet for getting directions.
Liamj774 36
Find a book and slap her with it. If you find the library, of course