Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
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Top comments
whatarethisss 23
Next time, don't forget to pee around your fridge to mark your territory.
kenyrabit 25
Never heard of the Dutch-fridge before! :D
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Comments (58)
stevenbro 6
Sorry you have a 12 year-old for a father.
pandit_ash 2
I think your dad is a one hell of a psychopath.
heathersamommy 13
Your dad is the hero we never knew we needed
Tomryan279 10
Was your dad drunk or high. If neither drop him in the loony bin and have him checked out
RetroGameNinja 7
Username checks out
ohSNAPyall 27
Username... Did he shit in the fridge too?
Calingaladha 21
He was just keeping it fresh for you. At least it wasn't the oven.
YourGrammarSucks 12
When I was young, my brother would run down the hall and stop in the doorway of my room. After letting out something loud and foul, he'd then run away. I am not sure why the entire male population seems to take such pleasure in other people smelling their farts. Can anyone explain this to me?
jreed2 2
gross
GrumpyGrinch 23
Time to serve doggie doo for dinner, at least for one person in the household.
cheshireau 26
Geez Dads can be so gross. Mine wouldn't do that as such. More stand beside you and fart or walk in my room to talk to me and fart and have a good chuckle to himself.