Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML
Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML
Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Azalorgm 7
Time to fight fire with fire.
PenguinBitch 44
Act like you don't know him and call him out. The administrators might ban him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
Azalorgm 7
Time to fight fire with fire.
CFB_FRS 27
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember the fire department usually uses water..
Welshite 40
Or you know...just use a fire extinguisher.
anythingmustbe 18
I agree
Quackadoodledoo 13
I quack. But who cares?
lbrown66 12
Now you'll have to get back at him and prove your sexuality. Solution: **** his wife
daisylokes 16
eww dude, what the F, that's not a solution.
cryssycakesx3 23
yeah, incest solves everything....
DemosthenesMB 13
#33: Um, let's keep in mind that his wife happens to be OP's mother...
1tsmenoah 20
#33 I now question you're relationship with your mother and the rest of your family
Fuaaad1994 31
OP obviously has to make an account claiming to be OPs fathers father, tell everyone how much of a pussy OPs father is and question his sexuality
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Don't fight fire with fire, OP. Point out that he's a brand new account, and accuse him of trolling and flaming. Try to get him banned. Deny, deny, deny. Remember, it's the internet, which means chances are he can't prove it's true. Plus, you've been there longer, which means that you've got more credibility.
MysteriousX_fml 10
58 - unless he uploads a picture..
MysteriousX_fml 10
58 - unless he uploads a picture to prove it
Futacy 30
Hey #12, did you know that um... there's literally a button for that?
Futacy 30
So, #33 is into incest. And threadjacking...
oddities 20
#33, you want OP to do the nasty with his mother to "get back" at his dad? I highly doubt OP has an Oedipus complex and sleeping with someone's wife as revenge is incredibly immature in the first place, sleeping with your mother to get back at your dad is worse.
iBanana 17
Fight muscle with muscle.....? Oh, I forgot. Just because it's a bodybuilder forum doesn't mean OP builds bodies. Is that like a new form of construction working? Body building... Hmm, I'll have to look into that.. Can you build beautiful women?
BootheGhost 6
Is anyone else surprised that Welshite actually got downvoted? That's a crazy phenomenon.
Blake77_fml 19
His wife is OPs mom dumbass
Dawnstempest 17
It works well with forest fires...
Contradictional 5
That's extremely mean coming from your dad. I have a feeling you two have maybe relationship issues? If you do I hope you to can work it out. FYL sorry op that's just flat out rude
badluckross 21
Not sure you can just assume they have issues based off this. Maybe his dad is just a dick? Maybe his dad took a joke too far?
Contradictional 5
Maybe, but I feel as though if he's deliberately making fun of him that Maybe their relationship is somewhat strained and that his father might not know how to deal with this situation and like you said took the joke too far
isuckwithnames 22
I see where he is coming from. My dad would intentionally aggravate me further when I am already am, that's fine i do the same thing, but joining a website and insulting your son just for the hell of it is a giant dick thing to do.
Flowtastic 16
Maybe the Dad is just telling the truth too and the OP doesn't even lift
parism143 28
Your physical appearance has squat to do with your sexual orientation, darling.
Flowtastic 16
Considering the fml doesn't mention anything about physical appearance at all I'm not sure what you're talking about?
SaintJupiter 16
Ahh that's a dick move.
Clay_Pidgeon 11
yea, I bet OP doesn't even lift...
BassTurdo 22
FIRST!!!!! And YDI all-the-way
cksmith51 14
You're dad can't bodybuild character, OP. Don't worry about it, just keep working out and living healthy
Redoxx_fml 22
If he was his own father then the real question becomes how did he travel back in time
Cwizer 17
That's body-mean
Dillyduzit 23
what
illegalbeagle69 23
And you're a body-dumbass..
Cwizer 17
Well I tried sue me
illegalbeagle69 23
I just might do that.
RenoTheRhino 30
All in favor of suing Cwizer (#45) say aye!
oddities 20
#47, I know a really good lawyer who could help with that. Disclaimer: This is sarcasm, since no one seems to understand when I'm being sarcastic.
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
#75 Maybe because that didn't seem sarcastic at all... I think you meant you were just joking maybe?
oddities 20
#77, no, that was sarcasm because it's a ridiculous case that would [most likely] never be taken even semi seriously by a lawyer. Sometimes you have to think into my sarcasm a little but that's a token minority with my sarcasm yet only 4 people regularly get when I'm being sarcastic.
Cwizer 17
Man such hate...... Geeez
colby6666 43
You made a shitty joke and got a shitty response. There's no "geeez" about it.
threer 30
Saying "I think I know a lawyer that can help with that." Is a joke. Saying "Yes, because lawyers love to be on terrible cases." is sarcasm. Sarcasm is pretty broad and hateful. Jokes are simple, specific, and generally neutral-natured. Get a handle!
skittyskatbrat 19
Oh, that sucks. :-( It would only be a YDI if you were bragging and lying on the forum and he's called you on it. Might be time to find an evil site... I recommend telling him that you don't like the parties available, and that you want to join a party that says "when given lemons for politicians, make lemonade!" You think it could really help out, and that he should join lemonparty . org too. WARNING, that's not work/kid safe. But he'll back off for a bit.... :D Once he's un-traumatized. Search for shock websites. There are some really good ones out there that have "neutral" names. Then laugh about your Dad falling for those links in the body building forum....
mydumblifesucks 20
That sounds really time consuming...
Quackadoodledoo 13
You're very odd.
Fr0gs 15
U really think im going to read this?
Yuuuuuuuutttt 8
was there acid involved in the making of this comment?
greg84_fml 21
I had no clue what he was talking about either until I read lemonparty.org and then it all made sense. He's basically saying he should get his dad to visit the site. The first picture is very disturbing. Although it might confirm the Dad's thoughts about OP's sexuality.
siggy_mcsigx 22
What a bully
HeyTherexxx 21
I'm questioning your dads maturity or possible mean sense of humor.
anythingmustbe 18
So instead of standing up to him, you come here to complain instead? Sounds like your dad was right about being a pussy. MAN UP!