Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
He's still got it
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Girl…
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML
Anger management
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
News to me
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML
This is fine
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Top comments
enonymous 9
There is nothing wrong with admiring what you've created... I know I do every time I take a dump... unless it's one of those damned automatic flushing toilets...
matt1990 0
at least he didnt call u ugly. stop bein debby downer.
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Comments (169)
Jade_Tigger 0
My father calls me fat.
RedPillSucks 33
so sorry... *internet hug*
Easyaccess 0
NOT cool......
FMLsOhilarious 6
You could have just ignored him you know...
QwertyMcNugget 0
Take it in stride. It may be awhile til you hear that again.
renslips 0
well are you
faz96 0
your fault for being hot then isn't it?
Darkhatchling 0
if you cant keep it in your pants, keep it in the family!
zman1422 3
at least you're hot
Sionnach 10
Would you rather he came home drunk and called you an ugly cow?
EvilDave 13
Drunk people often give inappropriate complements. "You are beautiful" becomes "Damn, you have fine ****" when drunk.