Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
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Top comments
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
That's the hooker calling the ***** a ****..
Rei_Ayanami 18
I always hate when people make this joke, and they do it every year.
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Comments (95)
skyenoelle 15
Sounds like he's not the smartest. I don't see why you were grounded, but I guess next time try not to piss him off. Good luck finding a new job!
friedchickenpie 14
The world of witty people is truly a challenging one, isn't it? Or maybe I'm just a dumbass.
perdix 31
#34, no and probably. If you are witty, you know what subjects are appropriate sources of material and for whom. Witty people are never going to take up the Newtown massacre. Only sick *****. That's an extreme example, though.
poccocurantes 7
First paycheck buy your dad a sense of humor.
KM96 24
Haha awkward for him, because he realizes he made the mistake. :D
SweetasCandy0609 28
If anyone should of been grounded for being a dumb ass it should of been your dad.
Justor 11
Is your dad Red Forman? lol
KingCeltic77 18
Well Eric needs to get a job, and I don't need him making comments like that. If he put half the efforts of his insults into his job he'd be rich. But atleast he's better off than Foreign Kid.
Lacist 19
Grounded for rest of year.
CrissyyyS2 22
I don't get why everyone is saying his Dad is an idiot, even if he didn't realize New Years is in a couple of days. He had the right to yell at his son about getting a job or not. He must of not had a job this 2012 year either. So what's the surprise if he won't find a job in 2013. Is "next year" answers going to get him a job?
oj101 33
Ah... parental authority. Even if they're wrong, they can force it to turn into fact.
BH1126 11
OP=Smart ass OPs Dad=Dumb ass