Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML
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Top comments
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
That's the hooker calling the ***** a ****..
Rei_Ayanami 18
I always hate when people make this joke, and they do it every year.
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Comments (95)
SApprentice 34
Hopefully he'll realize later that he overreacted. Let him cool off and he might 'forget' that he grounded you. Just go about things like normal and with any luck he won't actually enforce the probation period. You should totally get a job though. Lazy bum. Tsk Tsk.
jesernoob 13
I understand, you'd think sitcom humor could be transferable to the real world.
TheRandomIndian 17
It can be really funny if you have good timing I think OP just chose the wrong time to make that joke
kathryn14 19
Well, let's hope you're not grounded until next year..
micahdunk 13
Never joke with good old dad. They always get ya back when you make them look stupid.
poccocurantes 7
Guess you will have to pit that job search off a little longer.
pheebs314 17
I made the joke that I was grocery shopping until next year the other day. The guy looked at me like I was crazy til he realized it was only a week. :D
nycwrestler 17
Congrats, want a cookie?
shabbydoooo 8
Smart ass haha
80skid 15
Wow. That was almost an overreaction.
perdix 31
Why do you think you are entitled to Monday off? If you don't have a job, every day is vacation, so start pounding the pavement at every opportunity and quit being a lazy parasite.
80skid 15
Calm down, now. The keyword in this FML was "jokingly".
perdix 31
Lots of FMLs these days are caused by OPs doing things "jokingly." Whether it's cheating or being a drain on your family's finances, some topics are not particularly good subjects for humor with certain audiences. I doubt the dad would be grilling the OP about looking for work if it were easy for him to support his lazy ass.
skyenoelle 15
Wow, that was surprising. I think that one of the first times I've seen such a serious response from you. I agree with what you're saying; too many people who aren't employed think that a good excuse is that the economy is in turmoil and there's no use looking for one. Either way, I'm pretty sure that this is just a kid, considering the fact that he's still young and ignorant enough to give smart ass answers, and he still gets grounded as a punishment for it.
Mackay92 14
i really ******* despise people like you take it you have had a job all your life
poccocurantes 7
Interestingly enough as an employer that hires a great deal of teenagers I can tell you the tax payees are better off with them being a drain on their parents. Companies get tax credits for people with no previous job experience. So you are actually paying their wages for about 6 months.
perdix 31
#44, usually, yes, but when I didn't, I was busting my ass to find the next one.
TheDrifter 24
Love how the lazy parasites of society turn up the hate on anyone who suggests they should get a job, perhaps move out of their parents house before age 30.
juturnaamo 29
Plus, teens are taking jobs that adults might need to actually support their families. Why would Sears hire 1 full time employee when they can hire 2 teens part time and not have to pay any benefits?
heliraptor 13
It's true that they would hire the part time workers first, but it's not always that simple. If a teenager is leaving their house to get out of an abusive or otherwise toxic situation, they would need work too. I've been looking for a job for months, and they aren't easy to come by, for anyone.
mongooses 2
Then you say "I learned from the best"