Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML
Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML
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Top comments
DanbotXIII 10
You must train harder to snatch pebble from palm, grasshopper.
Freeze_fml 17
Food chain in effect.
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Comments (161)
FYLDeep 26
Is your dad Rosie O'Donnell? I could totally see that guy doing something like this.
DaySetsFire 2
Chris brown....
iwafflesi 0
You don't play around when it comes to brownies.
btnhdude 0
With your name being Waffles I can barely imagine what extremes you'd go to for them. On the other hand, wtf would you do for a Klondike bar?
MrXerxes5 6
Next time just pull the crazy routine. Pull your hair, hit yourself. Then push him a lot and yell like crazy. It never fails. :D
slushpup9696 12
I want to see you get in a bar fight.
btnhdude 0
Philosophic question! Are you competent, if you are your own toughest challenger?
ZXDriver 0
Next time make "special" brownies. I guarantee it'll be the last time he kicks your ass over one.
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Well we all know who the Alpha male is now...
slushpup9696 12
Next time, be prepared to fight to the death for it. *unsheathes sword* USE YOUR KNIFE FOR A SILENT TAKEDOWN
flockz 20
since i have been playing assassin's creed for the past three days, i am not going to take your joke lightly. *unsheathes sword as well* WE MUST FIGHT TO PROTECT OUR HONOR!
evilplatypus 39
I'm sorry, you got in a fight over BROWNIES? You definitely deserved it. If the debate gets THAT heated over something so minute, get over it and back off. There will be more brownies in the world.
bizarre_ftw 22
But out of each batch there are only FOUR Real corner pieces!
GVirdi 11
Until they start using more corners...
ThanksHersheys 4
Well I'd love to eat brownies with you, knowing if the argument gets bad, I'll be the one eating the brownies I wanted :)
DHoffmann 9
I don't think you understand. The corner piece is the best piece, and if you want it you better be prepared to fight for it my friend. ;-)
TheCountess 4
Next time you bake brownies, add pot to them. By the time you're down to the last corner piece, everyone will be too stoned to care what happens to it, thus, avoiding future violent episodes relating to brownies.
bizarre_ftw 22
Quality parenting there, he should write a book. No seriously! Get him to write a book! Your lawyer can then argue it as his confession. Good luck ^_^ Or rather, Break a wrist!!