Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML
Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML
Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML
Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML
Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML
Today, I was wrestling with my boyfriend when I accidentally kneed him in the chin and chipped his front tooth. I broke his real tooth, as well as the fake part from when he chipped it ten years ago. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You, sir, are a wimp. I'm not sure you are ready for solid food -- ask Momma to pop out her titty for you.
remy3106 10
u must have really wanted that cookie?!
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Comments (134)
christa953 12
ydi!!!!
KiwiLime 0
"MY COOKIE."
StopTheFuckinCar_fml 0
ydi for being that weak
lalala31_fml 0
fail
SwiftCashew 0
It's all right, let the cookie monster have what he wants.
jasonraces 0
lmao, at least you know he'd survive in prison,"that's my coockie bitch".
theian01 3
More like FHL, YOU got a cookie!! :-D
idkmyusername 0
OP~are you the guy that got his candy stolen by the baby? :0 but seriously dude, you need to man the **** up, pop your shoulder back in, put a bandaid on your knee and go buy yourself a ******* cookie
swimmerstud 7
he's older of u of course he'll win
iTaylor 0
oh it's on.
NuyoRicanGirl 3
LMAO that's what u get for trying to take a cookie from ur lil bro u r bad u should have let him have it and could have avoided getting hurt by a kid =) I would have fought u if they were skittles mmmmm
Senseless_487 29
Why oh why is there always one person who thinks it's a big deal that they moderated one of the FMLs?
CloudEnvy 17
For the same reason someone has to deny them their brief and simple glory by complaining about it.
nishant5456 0
must have been a good cookie huh?
mintcar 10
YES, cookie monstah FTW.
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
thts my cookie...
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
that is seriously my cookie
Griggy 0
YDI because you're 26 and got ur ass kicked by ur 14-year-old brother, however, FYL because you're 26 and got your ass kicked by your 14-year-old brother.
BallinJ 0
serious about a ******* cookie much?
boyguydudemalema 0
ur friggin 26, grow a pair, get a job and your own damn cookie, sheeesh
boyguydudemalema 0
buy you*
omgtacos 0
Hey dumbass! Yeah you, #33. The OP's BROTHER is 14 and HE is 26. I love people who fail at reading. :) Agree with 30.
Peacemaker9 7
19&20 ftw!! op that's just sad and way beyond the fail marker
mfmylifesrsly 30
omg this is so something my boyfriend would do...
bt2breakskn 0
maybe you should have acted your age?
illmatic2 16
Act his age? No matter how old you are it's always worth fighting for the last cookie.
Peacemaker9 7
lol so true so very very true!!!!^^^
lock80 0
great job you got injured fighting over a cookie what I find funny though is that your 26 god grow up
lajaynay 15
And that's how the cookie crumbles.
kayuri 0
agree wit # 47! what kind of 26 yr old has to fight for a cookie?!?!
twinny_sc 13
I hate that people are telling him to grow up because he fought over a cookie. Everyone has their moments and he wanted that damn cookie.
englishhottiexx 0
fat ass just let go of the cookie :/
lexielovesyou 0
hahaha lmfao`(:
bigbadtim 7
Why would you fight over cookies on your Internet Explorer? JK. What kind of cookie was it? Peanut butter?
diirty_brunette 0
I'll live on the prayer that you'll AT LEAST drop a crumb or a sprinkle my way :D
pureecstasy 5
That's like a burn inside of a burn that's a 2nd degree burn ohhhhhh. ahaha that 70's show <3
MATTMAN93 0
don't **** with a dudes cookie! YDI!
OwN3d3d 0
ydi for being fat and sacrificing urself for a friken cookie
Bon3less 0
81 I believe you have a boyfriend but when you talk about him in EVERY ******* COMMENT it seems less believable huh?
Ur_REmEdy 0
sexi pic
Skygee7395 0
ydi. go exercise fatass.
brutal_banger 10
Dirty brunette you sound kinda like a bitch "i swear have road rage" and you make retarded duck faces at 28??
Rowdey 10
Chill 186, she didn't do anything to you...
Forlorn420 9
How is this a YDI????? it's the last cookie!!
lifesluck 0
Little brother win! lol
remy3106 10
u must have really wanted that cookie?!
lickmyjock 0
damn bro drink milk
remy3106 10
??
cgs_fml 0
wow ur cool
laughmaster 9
I fought over a cookie... Till I took an arrow to the knee
alwaysawesome 0
give him the damn cookie, he's 14
izzie321 27
NO. YOU FIGHT FOR THE COOKIE TIL THE END. CAUSE WHO KNOWS? THAT COOKIE MAY BE THE BEST ONE YOU'VE EVER HAD. Unless it's oatmeal raisin, then **** the cookie.
picklezz123 5
must have been one yummy cookie!
JeffGoesRawrr 0
o___o Hmm. Why Do You Still Live With Your 14 Year Old Brother If Youre 26.?
DJSecret 0
Who said they lived together?
deafeningsilence 8
Maybe OP was visiting her parents.
6sick6 4
15, OP is a dude..
hannaaaahr 33
you don't necessarily need to live with someone if you want their cookie, she might as well have been visiting.
lolfood 24
Why Do You Type Like This?
perdix 31
You, sir, are a wimp. I'm not sure you are ready for solid food -- ask Momma to pop out her titty for you.
m1j3 0
LMFAO
shadyecko 0
Perdix, you sir, ******* win!!
misxmarshmellow 0
Lol
glorialaura21 8
lmfao!
XxFallenbladexX 0
You want a cookie that bad? You're hardcore! Either you haven't eaten in days or your just stupid. (my guess- stupid)
lajaynay 15
He had a hardcore case of the munchies. xD
alex1502 0
lol, nice One 125
oldenuff2party 3
pussy