Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and, instead of talking to him, I burped, and he just walked away. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
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Top comments
daybid 7
Well that stinks!
anzie_fml 9
That's a very interesting way for him to be greeting you, especially if you're still just calling him your "crush"... O.o
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Comments (137)
Clamcreepy 7
"Today, I grab this girl butt who was walking up the stairs. her way of telling me don't touch her butt is farting in my face. FML"
WellApparently 2
#8 lmfao
IntoTheClouds 42
He probably is embarrassed.
Darwin03 1
That would turn me off too. If its a girl I have been seing for a long time that's one thing. But to be chasing the strange like this guy and the first thing that comes our of it stinks. Lol. Good luck honney.
nastyness 0
You blew it, OP.....
perdix 31
A real man would always be staring at your **** anyways.
causticgirl 6
You need to go by and grab his ass now. If he farts too, your a perfect match.
Mr25_fml 14
From a male perspective, seeing (or hearing, rather) you fart on the first act of intimacy, you may as well have showed him a documentary on child birth. i'm sorry OP, but you probably blew it. Unless he is really into you, then maybe he'll come back?
RedPillSucks 33
of course she "blew" it. That's what farting is all about sorry. couldn't resist.
xottxo432 0
Hahaha just wait a week hell hopefully get over it
TexasMud 8
His fml... I touched this girl's butt at school today, now I have pink eye