Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
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Top comments
instrumentals 0
holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.
dantheman931 0
YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.
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Comments (310)
brodizzle 0
hahaha
atomicJ 0
EPIC FAIL
shaubygal 11
eewwwwwwww at the top it says OP is a girl awkkkwwarrdd
MrUnicorn 3
Starcraft is to hand as Studies is to girlfriend. With a few exceptions.
YDIomg 9
334, why is it awkward when it's a girl but not when it's a guy?
mauguster 15
Next time that happens look him/her in the eyes and finish like a boss
shimmyya88 0
hahaha. sorry man, i guess close your door.
DeafChef 0
#2: the OP is a woman, Dear Poster, why did you not just stop and pretend like you were asleep or lying down? :s
danggit3290 0
He thought I was texting, I am not allowed to text after 10... He still, to this day, had no idea what I was really doing. xD
Secret_Fire_King 0
Thats kinda hot, OP, if you are really a chick.. Were you being to noisy?.. Or, did you use the pillow?.. I reckon you might have been noisy.. I mean, how often does your step-dad stand outside your room at night, watching for movement..
inSayne 7
holy crap! this is the only fml I have ever seen where the op posted something in the comment section. they never give us any consolation for our many questions!!! :O
2an1a 4
#298..so true
Azellia 15
Lucky OP that he didn't realize what you were actually doing! Way less awkward even if you did get in trouble for texting
instrumentals 0
holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.
teentee401 37
As soon as I read "...with the door open, I voted YDI"
thatguynamedsky 32
i don't my dying dog will pant and pant at the door if i close it
omglyktotally78 0
thats kinda creepy.....not gonna lie
nesj 0
gross... were you still stroking when you were looking at this figure??? YDI
never2late88 0
if you look closely the op is a girl, which makes this more creepy....
EMTchic 14
317- on the contrary, I think it would be even more creepy if op was a guy or if she was looking at a girl that whole time
trackrunner525 0
rofl...thats hilarious...hope you learned your lesson
mjsmclaren 0
Your step dad watched was watching you jack it...I wonder what he went and did after that?
Amphysvena 11
probably tried to blind himself
brandonsdick 0
deff. a chick so jacking it means poking it..hopefully not with a closed fist..
savasana 0
that's why you close the door.
ecilart 0
ew, why would he stay there and stare back? D:
dantheman931 0
YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.